The Virtual Boyfriend

So John, the colleague whom I flirt with sometimes, asked me how my Spanish "friend" is doing when he walked past me.

I knew he was not talking about Rafael Nadal!

Very good question, my Spanish "friend", he is, indeed, in Spain right now.

Then he launched the next question, so is he going to come here to meet me or I am going to fly to Spain to see him.

Uh?

The answer is, he will fly back soon as he is working somewhere near.

From that confused look and the "oohhhh" sound he made afterwards, I realised he must've thought I was in a virtual internet relationship all along!!

What??!!

Oh god oh my bloody dear god!!

First of all, I am not that dumb nor romantic, how could I be romantically involved with someone whom I never knew and never met just over the internet like that?!?!

What was John thinking?? Like this?

Me: Oh Spanish guy, I have been thinking about you all day long, though we haven't met in real life yet, I feel like we have a total connection..
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh Spanish guy, it's amazing how we clicked, I feel like we've known each other for a long long time!
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and Spanish guy, I cannot stop thinking about you whenever I go to bed, whenever I wake up, whenever I take a shower, whenever I work, whenever I watch a movie, whenever....
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and also Spanish guy, I really cannot wait to see you in real life and tell you "hey, this is me, for real..." then we can finally kiss for real and I can feel your touch on my skin and you can hold me in your arms...
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and yes Spanish guy, my heart is jumping when I think of you and I just can't help it anymore!!
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: *gasp*.... Oh my god Spanish guy, I just realised without realising it before, though I haven't met you but I am in love with you...
Him: Oh, me too... (it means he is also in love with himself)
Me: Aww... Really?
Him: Oh, MUY SI!!

(PS: I could've used exclaimation marks but I thought it's more "sensitive", "gentle" and "loving" with several dots...)

Then what? We celebrated our "virtual love" by typing some girly emoticons where I showed him my lips and he showed me his lips then we "thought" we "kissed" for the "very first time"??

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

... and mind you, my relationship with Alberto isn't based on that bloody shit and we never said lines like that!!

How pukey! How could John link me with such a pukey personality???

He claimed he was quite worried about me as I got involved in another relationship not so long after my previous relationship had ended.

... and the new relationship, in his thoughts, was merely virtual!!!

Men, they never listen, I remember so well, I told him, in early July, that I was "dating" a Spanish guy!

"Dating"!! I thought the idea of "dating" is that you actually go out and do stuffs together!

Ok, perhaps I used the term "seeing", but who bloody cares?! It's the bloody same!

John also claimed that because I am quite active online, he has me on friendster therefore he thought that Spanish guy was only an "online" friend whom I had the hot for, whom might have, or might not have the hot for me!

... and whom I might secretly have virtual sex with, if I liked.

REALLY????

He thought I was into this kinda shit??

So I asked John not to insult my intelligence nor "cheapalise" me, luckily he did not ask me if I even fit to say it!

Forgive me but unless I am as dumb as Judy, I could never call someone on the internet "my friend", let alone the term "boyfriend".

People online to me are several people I know virtually, some whom I find easy to talk to I would declare them as my "online friend", but that's as far as where it'd go.

Internet might be a place to interact with people, but never a place to fall in love, it's merely virtual!!

Those people I know are basically like people I don't know!

No way I would think about them every night and day, every day and night, then finally decided that I should call them up one day and say, "hey you somebody, I... I... I... love you *blush*".

Psffffff!!!

I don't even believe in love at first sight for Pete's sake!

It wouldn't be easy for me to declare somebody I know as a "friend" even if I met him/her, and I don't just meet internet people like that!

Even more no way for me to fly somewhere to meet somebody online, that is just plain dumb and dangerous!

... but hmm, flying to Spain might be interesting, guys there are incredibly hot!

By the way, who the hell is Pete?