The Collection of Some Horribly Awful Songs

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I am now listening to one of the most disgusting song EVER!

You know, some songs are just so horribly disgusting you cannot help but to keep listening to it over and over again?

No, don't get me wrong, you don't secretly love that song, you just secretly love torturing yourself, but only sometimes.

I have more than 70GB of music files in my hard drive. I never listen to like.. more than 50% of the songs. Even I would say, a lot of songs there, I got them because I really hate them.

ie: songs by the Pussycat Dolls.

Will those who think they are cool, sexy, hot and blah please stand up?

I think they are completely talentless and use their body to gain attention from people. This kinda celebrities top the most pathetic.

Ok, I am listening to the song called "Tokyo by Night" sung by Gina T, in the 80s, I think, it's supposed to be a disco track as it is in some ooh-ooh-I-bloody-love-disco album.

If you watched the music video, even funnier, her style just doesn't belong in this millennium.

Duh, like I said, it is from the 80s!

Horrible fashion taste, horrible voice, horrible dance acts, horrible expressions, horrible everything.

I couldn't help but to burst out laughing when I read the comments, WAHAHAHAHAHAHA, cannot believe there are people actually "loving" this music.

Really, I do understand if you listen to it from time to time to entertain yourself as it might be groovy or all that jazz... But if you listen to it every day and really love it, I really don't know what to say about your taste...

I am mean, aren't I? But there is nothing I can do with this Paris Hilton-like huge ego I have.

I first heard of this song when I was in a cab on my way to the Ho Chi Minh airport with Alberto, the Vietnamese taxi driver was playing it on loud. I don't know if he noticed this song but he's never so attentive when it comes to music and movies.

Well, bottom line, it was so bloody horrible, one thing came into my mind: I must have this song.

Then I began my quest, it was very easy, I you-tubed the keywords "Night Tokyo", it leads me to several Japanese videos, including some really naughty and sexy ones that needed me to confirm my birth date in order to watch.

I did not click any of it at all, how strong was I!

Two more clicks lead me to my future, I finally found the song, the singer, even I got to watch more than 2 minutes of the vid!

God must've really loved me, that is, if he's somewhere over the beautiful rainbow.

I was in Singapore when I found the clip. Alberto was somewhere behind me working his ass off. I dared not to turn on the music, I couldn't bare him doubting my music taste.

So I delicious-ed the page, just in case I want to see it when I am back in Malaysia.

I also googled for a rapidshare link of the song, like I said, it's so bloody horrible I so got to have it, but Alberto doesn't allow me to use his internet to download illegal stuffs, buuuu...

Therefore I delicious-ed the rapidshare link as well, I will download it when I am in Malaysia, no problem.

Then god must've really loved me, again, as Alberto is sent to Korea for an international chess tournament, so I can go home to download this horrible track... on my brother's computer!

So, here it is, I am playing it to annoy my brother.

The word "Tokyo" not only leads to cute Japanese girls but it triggered my memory on another horrible song featuring that noun.

"Tokyo Drift" by some retarded band called "Teriyaki Boyz".

Careful, not "boys" but "Boyzzzzz".

Let me give you a head's up, you know that song?
"I wanna if you know, how they live in Tokyo,
If you see it then you mean it
Then you know you haff to go
Fast and Fuw-lious (dip, dip, dip),
Fast and Fuw-lious (dip, dip, dip)..."

The crap English is on purpose, I am pretty convinced.

I wiki-ed them and saw their picture, with their piercings and a bling-bling complete Ah-Beng look.

I am surprised, I really thought they were from the US as there were a lot of crap unknown hip-hop rap wannabe-famous artist.

I was lucky, I did not have to download that song at all, my brother has a friend who is extremely into this kinda complete-retarded crap music.

One thing leads to another, I am now listening to Paris Hilton's "Stars Are Blind".

.. and yes, I do have her album, same reason.

These songs are so horrible they are driving me insane!!

Go on, take a listen. Don't you just love torturing yourself sometimes?

The Taxi Flirt

One thing I really admire the taxi drivers in Malaysia: no matter how sexy/pretty/beautiful etc etc you look, no matter how flirtatious you can get with them, they will never, NEVER say yes to pick you up without ripping the hell out of you.

If you have been in Kuala Lumpur, the capital city of Malaysia, you will know how bloody hard it is to get a taxi.

I have no respects for almost every taxi drivers in Kuala Lumpur, as they are bloody vampires who show no sympathy to you, in another word, they are totally unprofessional.

You see, they want you to pay 120% more than the fare on the meter, if they charge you an extra RM3 or RM5, you can smile and thank god for blessing you.

Especially if you were a green-eyed Caucasian, ho ho, some dramas, for sure. I have had some of that as 2 guys I dated since I worked there, are both white guys: one British, one Spanish.

You see them ripping tourists off all the time, they all ripped it so openly, like 300% or more than the usual fare.

... and bloody governments never did anything about it, they are oh-so-understanding to the drivers.

Last Sunday, when I was trying to get a cab somewhere, 7 taxis passed by, none willing to take me.

One guy was oh-so-kind, he wanted to charge me RM20, the usual fare is less than RM8.50.

Wow, he must have some guts to do so.

3 more taxis passed by then, again, none wanted to take me.

Oh god oh my bloody god, it's either I don't pray enough or god don't exists.

After waiting for awhile, a really kind Chinese taxi driver passed by, he asked me to get into the car.

I got in happily, being thankful, finally there was somebody who would take me.

Then he asked me if I wanted a lumsum or I wanted him to put on the meter.

Duh, is he retarded or something?! Of course he should be putting on the meter!

So his response was, if I wanted meter, I should pay an extra RM3.

FUCK!

That is completely against the laws!

I had no choice but to give in to him, I had been standing for like 40 minutes and I couldn't bare standing one more minute there being rejected by more morons.

That uncle was kinda cautious with me as I had been giving him dirty looks under my shades.

I think I kinda looked like an idiotic girlfriend of some street guy who " hiphop-ly serves" people all the time, the kind with a horrible nuclear bomb-like haircut with really short Scottish patterned mini-skirt.

Maybe he was worried I would've called the LPKP to report him, hell yeah, first thing I'd do when I get home!

He kept trying to talk to me but I was really cold with him.

I was really pissed off with all the taxi drivers in Malaysia, how could they rip people so openly!

Even one of the ministry of Malaysia is so thoughtful, he claimed the taxi drivers did that because they don't earn so much through the fare.

Screw that, being a teacher I don't earn so much as well, if I want to earn more, I could change my job.

If not, that doesn't give me any rights to fucking rip people off and to break the laws!

Even when I called to complain when I got home, I was on hold for like 15 minutes, nobody was there to pick up my call.

Wasted my bloody time!

At last, they directed me to the answering machine because none was available.

HWC 3730, I still remember your bloody plate number, consider that your not-just-lucky but very lucky day!!

The governments said they will adjust the taxi fare next year, therefore the ripping case will go ease. I seriously doubt this matter, they've ripped people ridiculously for so long I don't think anything is going to change much.

But if they tried to rip me again, what can I do?

I am just a petite little girl who can't even hold a bamboo stick.

Or maybe I could've tried the following method:
Me: Hello naughty taxi driver, fancy a ride to .........?
Him: Extra 3 ringgit.
Me: Oh you naughty naughty, no no, take me there and I will blow you many kisses.
Him: Extra 3 ringgit lah.
Me: Come on, it wouldn't hurt to take a pretty girl like me...
Him: Extra 3 ringgit, yes or no.
Me: Hmmmm..... Please :-( Mr Taxi Driver..
Him: *drove off*

Toldcha that wouldn't have worked. And yes, I truly adore them for that.

The Quest to the Sex Shops in a Faraway Land

What is your fear when you enter a sex shop?

You might say, none, but here in Asia, people enter a sex shop carefully, and cautiously.

I used to have fun visiting sex shops in Malaysia until I realised all the stuffs are Muslims-friendly.

ie: condoms that don't protect you from pregnancies nor STDs, souvenirs, mugs, etc etc.

Those stuffs are wannabe-kinky but not at all kinky. Only people who mistaken themselves as the kinky type will enjoy using those things.

I have expanded my quest to the sex shops in Singapore, they are bigger, braver, kinkier and naughtier.

You see a lot of board games, wide selection of kinky lingeries, whips, edible bras and also a wide selection of vibrators.

Besides, there are silicone vaginas that come with a little tester vagina on pack where you can stick your one finger in to test before your purchase.

I did not stick my finger in but I am sure it feels like you are fingering somebody who is extremely quiet.

You see, I do dress up properly when I am in Singapore, the way I cannot dress myself in Malaysia as it is more dangerous and conservative, therefore, when I enter the sex shop alone, I do get a lot of attentions.

No, I am not saying I am oh-so-glamourous nor anything, when you see a single woman who is properly dressed in a sex shop, you mistaken her for a prostitute or somebody who fucks thousands of men crazily, which I aren't.

Girls usually go with companions, like boyfriends, or their girlfriends and they dress up casually.

I had dragged Alberto into the shops with me several times but not a lot, last time when I was in there, the shopkeeper asked me if I wanted to purchase a real-penis-like vibrator, in front of him.

Duh, is she really stupid or what?!

I would've pointed at Alberto and told her I already have one, but that shy boy would really kill me later so I better not.

So yesterday, I went to a sex shop in Singapore, that shop just recently expanded into one lot bigger.

Therefore, they have more stuffs and more customers too, of course.

Like I said, the attention.

Several uncles there looked at me like they wanted to have sex with me for free.

They gave me gaze like, "oh my god, you tried to dress yourself decently but you can't hide the vixen you are inside, tsk tsk tsk girl.."

Or this, "what kinda girls enter shops like this?! Sluts!"

I won't forget how this uncle in his late 40s/early 50s looked at me.

I was very offended, of course, then I looked back at him, he was embarrassed and looked away.

I like western men more in this sense, they never look at you twice when you are in a sex shop.

Then I gave this other uncle my attention, as he looked quite old, late 50s, but holding a kinky red lingerie in his hand while selecting another kinky lingerie with his other hand.

That man completely opened up my eyes, I never thought guys in their 50s are still kinky in this sense!!

I thought when you grow older, sex becomes a routine, apparently not.

... and I really wonder who's going to put that on for him!

... then I pictured him lying in bed wearing a grandpa-boxer, throwing his hands behind his head and waiting to see his woman performing the fashion show, you know, like our dearly beloved Dr Chua Soi Lek.

You remember or heard of our Dr Chua? He was the ministry of health in Malaysia awhile ago until he was captured on tape, screwing another woman who is not his wife.

Hypocrite, he once told men in Malaysia to be faithful to their wife!

Then he said, he made a mistake, to screw that woman in the same hotel, same room.

The adultery is not a mistake, same hotel same room is, he means.

How pukey is he?! And he was pretty kinky on tape, so was the fashion show!

Yuck..

That moment I totally realised, kinkiness works better with hotter and younger men.

Then this shopkeeper came around asking me what am I looking for and if I need her assistance.

Aren't you totally annoyed when somebody ask you that during your visit?

I came so closed pretending I was looking for something very very kinky with the function of the anal beads but with the look of a kinky whip with fluffy handcuffs attached, of course, I made that up, but I don't like to talk so much to the assistants when I am in a sex shop, just in case they started introducing me stuffs I don't want to buy.

Like the lifelike-penis vibrator I told you about!

Or even worse, a silicone vagina!

They get shameless asking you to buy stuffs from them, then they started teaching you how those stuffs work like they're an expert, duh.

A wannabe scientist don't teach Einstein Science! Same in this case.

Then she asked me if I need her assistance I can just call for her.

Duh, she could take this chance to ask me anything, I know how every stuff in her shop works!

Walking around looking at the stuffs, I am sure sex shops in the west will open up my eyes even more.

What is my only worry when I am in a sex shop?

That is to see my father.

No, I do not worry for him to know that I am naughty, he knows what I am.

I just don't want to know that he is secretly naughty and kinky.