I do not wish to write about this but I am so fucking pissed off.
Oh believe me, I have a very high tolerance therefore when I am pissed off, it's nothing small.
My landlady wanted to increase my rental to 300 bucks, after an 18 months of stay.
It was RM230 when I moved in, which 8 months later she asked for an increase of 30 bucks to RM260 as she claimed my computer takes up a lot of usage (duh, no greater than her tv!) and now, she wanted an RM40 increase.
... and that agreement expires end of October 09! Which also means that next year, when next agreement comes, she will increase the bloody rental to a higher amount, like for example, to RM350!
Actually, the agreement effects since Oct 08, which is 8 days later, in another word, if I don't fucking agree to it, I have no choice because it's almost impossible to find a place and move out in 8 fucking days!
Also, she asked for a one-month notice before I move out.
I don't want to move out, I don't mind paying for the increase but I am really unhappy and pissed she played this trick.
Also, she's so greedy and un-humble, I believe my rental will double itself in no time!
You see, I can understand her point, it's a bit "less" if she increased RM20 to an RM280, and if she was to increase it to RM290, why not another 10 bucks to RM300?
But this is really, really too much!
30% increase after an 18-month stay, for me is quite a lot and unreasonable.
Besides, rentals in Malaysia are quite cheap and she's only letting out a room in an apartment for crying out loud!
An 8-day notice for an increase of rental is quite unreasonable too!
I have never signed any agreement for 18 months until now, this is so fucking stupid!
... but I know even if I quarrel about it, she'll complain about me using the computer and a lot of lights in my room and all that blah.
This is very bloody unfair, she watches tv for hours, she turns on the air-cond every night, this and that, and she fucking blames my computer for the high electricity bill.
For all I know, tv and air-conditioning take up more electricity usage than a bloody computer!
This is apparently, the disadvantage of staying under somebody else's roof.
I like that place so much therefore I have no choice but to let her eat me.
I fucking hate that!
What can I bloody do? Nothing.
You know what, I will just pretend I throw all that money at her!
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
Saturday, 20 September 2008
The Look of Love
People who's never been in love often mistaken a lot of things for love.
I think about him every day and night, am I in love? I feel like we've known each other for a long time, am I in love? I want to spend most of my time with him, want to kiss him, want to make love to him, want to take his hand and walk the world, am I in love with him?
Is that love?
Then you ask yourself, what is love?
Love is unexplainable.
When I don't hear from him, I feel frustrated; when I feel like he might not like me as much as I think he did, I feel upset; when it seems that I am not as important to him as I think I was, I feel disappointed.
Maybe love, maybe not.
That could be love, or perhaps, you are so used to his existence it tricks you into thinking it was love.
Love is not a spark that sparks off at the very first moment, the more you know somebody, the more you are in love with somebody.
The sooner you fall in love, the quicker you fall out of love.
When you fall in love with somebody without knowing him, that's just too blind and when you fall in love with that somebody who doesn't love you back, that's just too sad.
Love is with conditions, the first one, I would love you only if you love me back.
I never believe in love at first sight; feeling grows into love, just like an infant growing into an adult.
Nobody was born an adult; the same for love.
I read from a book, somebody's in love with somebody for a long time without realising it, now how could that be??
That is definitely not love.
A's secretly in love with B but B doesn't know.
That is definitely not love too.
Though I have never met somebody but I am in love, now that is not love as well.
Sorry but people who say "love" too easily disgust me.
Feelings grow the more you know somebody, later then, you fall in love, it's never one-sided.
At that very moment, when you look into his eyes, something mutual just hit you so much you realise you are in love.
... and when there is so much love, sex is always beautiful.
When love comes, you just know. When you keep on questioning yourself, you are not in love.
I think about him every day and night, am I in love? I feel like we've known each other for a long time, am I in love? I want to spend most of my time with him, want to kiss him, want to make love to him, want to take his hand and walk the world, am I in love with him?
Is that love?
Then you ask yourself, what is love?
Love is unexplainable.
When I don't hear from him, I feel frustrated; when I feel like he might not like me as much as I think he did, I feel upset; when it seems that I am not as important to him as I think I was, I feel disappointed.
Maybe love, maybe not.
That could be love, or perhaps, you are so used to his existence it tricks you into thinking it was love.
Love is not a spark that sparks off at the very first moment, the more you know somebody, the more you are in love with somebody.
The sooner you fall in love, the quicker you fall out of love.
When you fall in love with somebody without knowing him, that's just too blind and when you fall in love with that somebody who doesn't love you back, that's just too sad.
Love is with conditions, the first one, I would love you only if you love me back.
I never believe in love at first sight; feeling grows into love, just like an infant growing into an adult.
Nobody was born an adult; the same for love.
I read from a book, somebody's in love with somebody for a long time without realising it, now how could that be??
That is definitely not love.
A's secretly in love with B but B doesn't know.
That is definitely not love too.
Though I have never met somebody but I am in love, now that is not love as well.
Sorry but people who say "love" too easily disgust me.
Feelings grow the more you know somebody, later then, you fall in love, it's never one-sided.
At that very moment, when you look into his eyes, something mutual just hit you so much you realise you are in love.
... and when there is so much love, sex is always beautiful.
When love comes, you just know. When you keep on questioning yourself, you are not in love.
Tuesday, 16 September 2008
The Hutegonelle Effect
You know how hot and cute guys make me go all "oohhh" and "grrrr"?
Well, you can call it "The Hutegonelle Effect", The Hot and cUTE Guys ON gisELLE effect.
Sorry but I am just as shallow as anybody else, like guys.
A week ago when I went to a restaurant along with my parents, there's this cute Malay guy.
I was looking at him and just when I was going to pop up "dad mum look, that guy's cute!", he turned around.. and I saw his earring!
Didn't I mention? Guys with piercings and tattoos completely put me off! So never mind, I never looked at him again.
This morning there's this Vico truck that came to my school.
You know Vico? It's the chocolate malt drink that's just like Milo except the employees are much hotter!
So there's this other Malay guy whom I saw, he's incredibly cute!
Ok sorry, only Alberto is incredibly cute, that Malay guy is only kinda cute.
I first saw him in front of the administration office, okay, he was cute.
So I looked at him for two seconds and charmed him shortly, then I looked away before I entered the staff's computer room.
I charmed him just like a big-headed idiot trying to charm a cow.
Then I realised he came on behalf of Vico, the company.
He was giving away free cups of Vico for the children, along with his colleague.
Being a teacher has the advantages to cut queue and get more food/drinks/stuffs than the children also to flirt with the employees/business man etc etc. So to piss off those children, I went to the front of the line and smiled at the cute guy..
Smiling is the quickest way to get what you want out of a guy, especially a nice, cold cocoa drink like this!
Oh my god, now that I took a closer look at him he is REALLY cute!
Of course, how could Giselle Hu not smile at a cute guy??
So I was with a big "oh-how-could-you-not-fall-under-my-heels-now" smile while I was getting my drink, oh, okay, he did not look at me.
Never mind, he's just busy..
Hey, at least I got my drink!!
Ok, I didn't care, I had a bigger mission: to piss off the children!
So I took my drink and walked towards them and had a sip in front of them, along with their buuus...
Hey, don't judge me, wait till you be a teacher!
When I was little my teacher did that anyway! Didn't you hear about the "chain reaction"??
The drinks was incredibly sweet, but I pretended to enjoy it so much to tease the students.
... and I kept asking them why I was the only one having the drink in my hand.
They were buuus, of course, but thinking that they would get the drinks later anyway they did not care.
Then when my boys were about to get their drinks, the cute guy spoke up..
"Hey teacher, get some drinks yourself!"
YES! He was "successfully" charmed by me! Apparently my "cow-charming" look worked!
How could Giselle Hu not try to charm or talk to a cute guy more??
This time I responded with a "yes-how-could-you-not-fall-under-my-spell" smile and said, "oh thank you, I had a cup of it just now."
If I was really desperate I could use the collective noun "mouthful" and the pronoun "you" but no worries.
Then he said "oh no problem, just drink as much as you want..."
The way to touch a man's heart is to pretend to be concerned about him so I smiled even bigger and asked if he already had any of that drink...
Hey hey, I was being concerned, okay?!
He responded with a "bahh, nahh...", urr.. okay..
It's not like I care, first, he's not Alberto; second, I already grabbed another cup of drink to piss the children off even more!
Then I had my drinks in front of the children along with their "oh-how-could-you-get-two-cups" buuus.
I always pretend to be loving and gentle with children with cute guys around, so this time, no difference.
Hey, Teacher Hu is sweet, gentle, tender, you know how those politicians go to places to visit children and read to them?!
Well, I am just like that, except that I only do that around "HUTEGs". Unlike those people, they actually take pictures as a proof!
Psfffff, big-headed idiots!
No, in case you're wondering, he did not give a shitpot about my acting!
Never mind, like I said, he's just BUSY!
Okay, time to go back to class, children, now before you go, Teacher Hu's gotta thank somebody cute, so don't wait up, just go back to your class quietly and I'll be there shortly!
Before I leave, I walked to him and thanked him "gently", he said no problem and he bonus-ed me with one of his cute sunshine smile.
....
So I was walking back to my class with my ego boosted while thinking that he must have charmed a little more than I thought...
Until... until....
Until I realised it was Ramadhan and he was supposed to be fasting!!
Now I know what those "bahh, nahh" mean!
Yay, Vico's employees are DA BEST!
Well, you can call it "The Hutegonelle Effect", The Hot and cUTE Guys ON gisELLE effect.
Sorry but I am just as shallow as anybody else, like guys.
A week ago when I went to a restaurant along with my parents, there's this cute Malay guy.
I was looking at him and just when I was going to pop up "dad mum look, that guy's cute!", he turned around.. and I saw his earring!
Didn't I mention? Guys with piercings and tattoos completely put me off! So never mind, I never looked at him again.
This morning there's this Vico truck that came to my school.
You know Vico? It's the chocolate malt drink that's just like Milo except the employees are much hotter!
So there's this other Malay guy whom I saw, he's incredibly cute!
Ok sorry, only Alberto is incredibly cute, that Malay guy is only kinda cute.
I first saw him in front of the administration office, okay, he was cute.
So I looked at him for two seconds and charmed him shortly, then I looked away before I entered the staff's computer room.
I charmed him just like a big-headed idiot trying to charm a cow.
Then I realised he came on behalf of Vico, the company.
He was giving away free cups of Vico for the children, along with his colleague.
Being a teacher has the advantages to cut queue and get more food/drinks/stuffs than the children also to flirt with the employees/business man etc etc. So to piss off those children, I went to the front of the line and smiled at the cute guy..
Smiling is the quickest way to get what you want out of a guy, especially a nice, cold cocoa drink like this!
Oh my god, now that I took a closer look at him he is REALLY cute!
Of course, how could Giselle Hu not smile at a cute guy??
So I was with a big "oh-how-could-you-not-fall-under-my-heels-now" smile while I was getting my drink, oh, okay, he did not look at me.
Never mind, he's just busy..
Hey, at least I got my drink!!
Ok, I didn't care, I had a bigger mission: to piss off the children!
So I took my drink and walked towards them and had a sip in front of them, along with their buuus...
Hey, don't judge me, wait till you be a teacher!
When I was little my teacher did that anyway! Didn't you hear about the "chain reaction"??
The drinks was incredibly sweet, but I pretended to enjoy it so much to tease the students.
... and I kept asking them why I was the only one having the drink in my hand.
They were buuus, of course, but thinking that they would get the drinks later anyway they did not care.
Then when my boys were about to get their drinks, the cute guy spoke up..
"Hey teacher, get some drinks yourself!"
YES! He was "successfully" charmed by me! Apparently my "cow-charming" look worked!
How could Giselle Hu not try to charm or talk to a cute guy more??
This time I responded with a "yes-how-could-you-not-fall-under-my-spell" smile and said, "oh thank you, I had a cup of it just now."
If I was really desperate I could use the collective noun "mouthful" and the pronoun "you" but no worries.
Then he said "oh no problem, just drink as much as you want..."
The way to touch a man's heart is to pretend to be concerned about him so I smiled even bigger and asked if he already had any of that drink...
Hey hey, I was being concerned, okay?!
He responded with a "bahh, nahh...", urr.. okay..
It's not like I care, first, he's not Alberto; second, I already grabbed another cup of drink to piss the children off even more!
Then I had my drinks in front of the children along with their "oh-how-could-you-get-two-cups" buuus.
I always pretend to be loving and gentle with children with cute guys around, so this time, no difference.
Hey, Teacher Hu is sweet, gentle, tender, you know how those politicians go to places to visit children and read to them?!
Well, I am just like that, except that I only do that around "HUTEGs". Unlike those people, they actually take pictures as a proof!
Psfffff, big-headed idiots!
No, in case you're wondering, he did not give a shitpot about my acting!
Never mind, like I said, he's just BUSY!
Okay, time to go back to class, children, now before you go, Teacher Hu's gotta thank somebody cute, so don't wait up, just go back to your class quietly and I'll be there shortly!
Before I leave, I walked to him and thanked him "gently", he said no problem and he bonus-ed me with one of his cute sunshine smile.
....
So I was walking back to my class with my ego boosted while thinking that he must have charmed a little more than I thought...
Until... until....
Until I realised it was Ramadhan and he was supposed to be fasting!!
Now I know what those "bahh, nahh" mean!
Yay, Vico's employees are DA BEST!Monday, 15 September 2008
The Surprise Encounter
I am sick and tired of being asked how I met Alberto!
Let's take a look at my previous relationship. I used to tell people I met my ex in a bus station, how lame that excuse was!
Nope, we never met in a lousy bus station, every time I think about how we met I want to kill myself, it is not a nice story to be told.
Don't know why, people are so surprisingly interested in how you met your partner, especially when they are of a different race.
Usually they expect something like "internet", but the last I heard, a father fell in love with his daughter thanks to that word!
You see, when you are in a gathering or something, people (I am one of them) enjoy saying, "oh tell us tell us, how d'ya meet?". Then here comes the part where the couples start telling their story in an exciting tone...
Is it really THAT exciting listening to people's stories?
So people, I hereby solemnly declare, that the next time whoever somebody anybody asked me about how I met Alberto, I might have several different versions to tell, that is, depending on your luck.
I might tell you...
... that it was a very sunny day and I was upset from my work. I was walking among the crowd waiting to cross a busy road.
I was on one side, he was at the opposite side of the road, we were among the crowd therefore we did not notice each other.
(Now do me a favour by imagining somebody playing the cello for this scene).
So when the light turns green, we started walking slowly and out of the blue, we saw each other..
We looked into each other's eyes and time completely stopped..
Our eyes were shining, in that moment we knew we were meant for each other...
WAHAHAHAHAHA, how lame!
Or maybe, I was locked up by my evil stepmother, she stopped me from going to a grand ball he held in town in order to find a princess..
... but instead, she brought along my two evil stepsisters hoping that he would notice them...
Then suddenly, as I was crying in despair, my fairy godmother arrived and gave me really beautiful gown so I could go on to seduce him...
.. *gasp* but I must be back by 12 am before the spell was broken!
So to say it alternately, I MUST seduce him before 12 am or it's a bye-bye-Alberto-I-hope-you-have-fun-with-my-stepsisters situation!
Oh wait, if not, I could accidentally leave him my glass heels so he could find me!
Hell yeah, that'd be my backup plan...
No wait, this story is too lame..
Or I could tell you, that one day when I was having my dinner, he came my way with a glass of whatever...
He did not realise I was there, I did not realise he was there..
Then we just bumped into each others...
Then his glass of whatever was all over me...
I was very unhappy at first but when I lifted up my head and looked into those dark beautiful eyes, time stopped (again)...
It's like.. that moment was meant to happen!
Or maybe, he fainted during an event, I had no choice but to breathe air into his lungs by performing something called CPR..
When he was saved by me, he would open his eyes and look into my eyes and time could stop as usual...
... or he woke up a bit later than we all expected and then he had to spend years tracking "the mysterious woman who saved his life" down.
Those times when he was finding me, could be another spin-off story!
Like he couldn't do anything else but to think about that sexy mysterious woman, which is me. He had to print out articles in the papers, he wrote a poem or a letter for me every day and claimed he would never stop until he managed to find me.
Then the press might put a big question mark with the headline "Who Is The Mysterious Woman?"
It took him a few years, a few bloody years to find me, but his passion never stopped burning...
Wait wait wait, this could work:
One day when I was all upset and disappointed by oh this cruel world, I was walking in a park with no direction..
No direction at all..
I was so stuck in my thoughts I did not realise a bus was coming my way..
Then out of nowhere, somebody pushed me away and saved me...
Oh no, wait, then he would be dead!
Ok, this story is NOT GOOD!
Or how about this, if you ever watched any lame Chinese soap, drama or whatever, you will know this.
This sort of incidents usually takes place in a university campus. The girl, me, had a pile of book in my hand but nobody offered to help.
The guy, him, walked my way and out of nowhere, no reason, nothing, we just bumped into each others..
Then I started picking up my book, he started picking up my books too. I picked from my side, he picked from his side...
The amount of the books is of an odd number so at last, while my hand was on the last book, his hand was on my hand *gasp*, then I looked up and looked into his eyes and we realised..
Oh sorry I forgot the time-stopping part!
So lame, I know, but lame is fun!
Or I could tell you, that he delivered my pizza one day when I was all hot and lonely, so I pushed him towards my wall just like any lame porn movies!
Or I accidentally hit his car but I had no cash so I offered to do anything, anything in order for him not to report me to the police, and again, you know where that plot normally comes from!
Or simple, I will just tell you I purchased him off e-bay with a reasonable and negotiable price.
I will have a lot of different stories, as you know, I am good bull-shitting!
But I might tell you the real version, if you are very unlucky!
How touching, how romantic.. You might even be in tears after listening to our story, it'd be even better than any South American soap tv drama series, I promise!
... but the greatest story lies inside me and him :)
PS: Alberto, you better read this and remember the plots properly so next time we can tell people in that kinda tone!
Let's take a look at my previous relationship. I used to tell people I met my ex in a bus station, how lame that excuse was!
Nope, we never met in a lousy bus station, every time I think about how we met I want to kill myself, it is not a nice story to be told.
Don't know why, people are so surprisingly interested in how you met your partner, especially when they are of a different race.
Usually they expect something like "internet", but the last I heard, a father fell in love with his daughter thanks to that word!
You see, when you are in a gathering or something, people (I am one of them) enjoy saying, "oh tell us tell us, how d'ya meet?". Then here comes the part where the couples start telling their story in an exciting tone...
Is it really THAT exciting listening to people's stories?
So people, I hereby solemnly declare, that the next time whoever somebody anybody asked me about how I met Alberto, I might have several different versions to tell, that is, depending on your luck.
I might tell you...
... that it was a very sunny day and I was upset from my work. I was walking among the crowd waiting to cross a busy road.
I was on one side, he was at the opposite side of the road, we were among the crowd therefore we did not notice each other.
(Now do me a favour by imagining somebody playing the cello for this scene).
So when the light turns green, we started walking slowly and out of the blue, we saw each other..
We looked into each other's eyes and time completely stopped..
Our eyes were shining, in that moment we knew we were meant for each other...
WAHAHAHAHAHA, how lame!
Or maybe, I was locked up by my evil stepmother, she stopped me from going to a grand ball he held in town in order to find a princess..
... but instead, she brought along my two evil stepsisters hoping that he would notice them...
Then suddenly, as I was crying in despair, my fairy godmother arrived and gave me really beautiful gown so I could go on to seduce him...
.. *gasp* but I must be back by 12 am before the spell was broken!
So to say it alternately, I MUST seduce him before 12 am or it's a bye-bye-Alberto-I-hope-you-have-fun-with-my-stepsisters situation!
Oh wait, if not, I could accidentally leave him my glass heels so he could find me!
Hell yeah, that'd be my backup plan...
No wait, this story is too lame..
Or I could tell you, that one day when I was having my dinner, he came my way with a glass of whatever...
He did not realise I was there, I did not realise he was there..
Then we just bumped into each others...
Then his glass of whatever was all over me...
I was very unhappy at first but when I lifted up my head and looked into those dark beautiful eyes, time stopped (again)...
It's like.. that moment was meant to happen!
Or maybe, he fainted during an event, I had no choice but to breathe air into his lungs by performing something called CPR..
When he was saved by me, he would open his eyes and look into my eyes and time could stop as usual...
... or he woke up a bit later than we all expected and then he had to spend years tracking "the mysterious woman who saved his life" down.
Those times when he was finding me, could be another spin-off story!
Like he couldn't do anything else but to think about that sexy mysterious woman, which is me. He had to print out articles in the papers, he wrote a poem or a letter for me every day and claimed he would never stop until he managed to find me.
Then the press might put a big question mark with the headline "Who Is The Mysterious Woman?"
It took him a few years, a few bloody years to find me, but his passion never stopped burning...
Wait wait wait, this could work:
One day when I was all upset and disappointed by oh this cruel world, I was walking in a park with no direction..
No direction at all..
I was so stuck in my thoughts I did not realise a bus was coming my way..
Then out of nowhere, somebody pushed me away and saved me...
Oh no, wait, then he would be dead!
Ok, this story is NOT GOOD!
Or how about this, if you ever watched any lame Chinese soap, drama or whatever, you will know this.
This sort of incidents usually takes place in a university campus. The girl, me, had a pile of book in my hand but nobody offered to help.
The guy, him, walked my way and out of nowhere, no reason, nothing, we just bumped into each others..
Then I started picking up my book, he started picking up my books too. I picked from my side, he picked from his side...
The amount of the books is of an odd number so at last, while my hand was on the last book, his hand was on my hand *gasp*, then I looked up and looked into his eyes and we realised..
Oh sorry I forgot the time-stopping part!
So lame, I know, but lame is fun!
Or I could tell you, that he delivered my pizza one day when I was all hot and lonely, so I pushed him towards my wall just like any lame porn movies!
Or I accidentally hit his car but I had no cash so I offered to do anything, anything in order for him not to report me to the police, and again, you know where that plot normally comes from!
Or simple, I will just tell you I purchased him off e-bay with a reasonable and negotiable price.
I will have a lot of different stories, as you know, I am good bull-shitting!
But I might tell you the real version, if you are very unlucky!
How touching, how romantic.. You might even be in tears after listening to our story, it'd be even better than any South American soap tv drama series, I promise!
... but the greatest story lies inside me and him :)
PS: Alberto, you better read this and remember the plots properly so next time we can tell people in that kinda tone!
The Virtual Boyfriend
So John, the colleague whom I flirt with sometimes, asked me how my Spanish "friend" is doing when he walked past me.
I knew he was not talking about Rafael Nadal!
Very good question, my Spanish "friend", he is, indeed, in Spain right now.
Then he launched the next question, so is he going to come here to meet me or I am going to fly to Spain to see him.
Uh?
The answer is, he will fly back soon as he is working somewhere near.
From that confused look and the "oohhhh" sound he made afterwards, I realised he must've thought I was in a virtual internet relationship all along!!
What??!!
Oh god oh my bloody dear god!!
First of all, I am not that dumb nor romantic, how could I be romantically involved with someone whom I never knew and never met just over the internet like that?!?!
What was John thinking?? Like this?
Me: Oh Spanish guy, I have been thinking about you all day long, though we haven't met in real life yet, I feel like we have a total connection..
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh Spanish guy, it's amazing how we clicked, I feel like we've known each other for a long long time!
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and Spanish guy, I cannot stop thinking about you whenever I go to bed, whenever I wake up, whenever I take a shower, whenever I work, whenever I watch a movie, whenever....
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and also Spanish guy, I really cannot wait to see you in real life and tell you "hey, this is me, for real..." then we can finally kiss for real and I can feel your touch on my skin and you can hold me in your arms...
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and yes Spanish guy, my heart is jumping when I think of you and I just can't help it anymore!!
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: *gasp*.... Oh my god Spanish guy, I just realised without realising it before, though I haven't met you but I am in love with you...
Him: Oh, me too... (it means he is also in love with himself)
Me: Aww... Really?
Him: Oh, MUY SI!!
(PS: I could've used exclaimation marks but I thought it's more "sensitive", "gentle" and "loving" with several dots...)
Then what? We celebrated our "virtual love" by typing some girly emoticons where I showed him my lips and he showed me his lips then we "thought" we "kissed" for the "very first time"??
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
... and mind you, my relationship with Alberto isn't based on that bloody shit and we never said lines like that!!
How pukey! How could John link me with such a pukey personality???
He claimed he was quite worried about me as I got involved in another relationship not so long after my previous relationship had ended.
... and the new relationship, in his thoughts, was merely virtual!!!
Men, they never listen, I remember so well, I told him, in early July, that I was "dating" a Spanish guy!
"Dating"!! I thought the idea of "dating" is that you actually go out and do stuffs together!
Ok, perhaps I used the term "seeing", but who bloody cares?! It's the bloody same!
John also claimed that because I am quite active online, he has me on friendster therefore he thought that Spanish guy was only an "online" friend whom I had the hot for, whom might have, or might not have the hot for me!
... and whom I might secretly have virtual sex with, if I liked.
REALLY????
He thought I was into this kinda shit??
So I asked John not to insult my intelligence nor "cheapalise" me, luckily he did not ask me if I even fit to say it!
Forgive me but unless I am as dumb as Judy, I could never call someone on the internet "my friend", let alone the term "boyfriend".
People online to me are several people I know virtually, some whom I find easy to talk to I would declare them as my "online friend", but that's as far as where it'd go.
Internet might be a place to interact with people, but never a place to fall in love, it's merely virtual!!
Those people I know are basically like people I don't know!
No way I would think about them every night and day, every day and night, then finally decided that I should call them up one day and say, "hey you somebody, I... I... I... love you *blush*".
Psffffff!!!
I don't even believe in love at first sight for Pete's sake!
It wouldn't be easy for me to declare somebody I know as a "friend" even if I met him/her, and I don't just meet internet people like that!
Even more no way for me to fly somewhere to meet somebody online, that is just plain dumb and dangerous!
... but hmm, flying to Spain might be interesting, guys there are incredibly hot!
By the way, who the hell is Pete?
I knew he was not talking about Rafael Nadal!
Very good question, my Spanish "friend", he is, indeed, in Spain right now.
Then he launched the next question, so is he going to come here to meet me or I am going to fly to Spain to see him.
Uh?
The answer is, he will fly back soon as he is working somewhere near.
From that confused look and the "oohhhh" sound he made afterwards, I realised he must've thought I was in a virtual internet relationship all along!!
What??!!
Oh god oh my bloody dear god!!
First of all, I am not that dumb nor romantic, how could I be romantically involved with someone whom I never knew and never met just over the internet like that?!?!
What was John thinking?? Like this?
Me: Oh Spanish guy, I have been thinking about you all day long, though we haven't met in real life yet, I feel like we have a total connection..
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh Spanish guy, it's amazing how we clicked, I feel like we've known each other for a long long time!
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and Spanish guy, I cannot stop thinking about you whenever I go to bed, whenever I wake up, whenever I take a shower, whenever I work, whenever I watch a movie, whenever....
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and also Spanish guy, I really cannot wait to see you in real life and tell you "hey, this is me, for real..." then we can finally kiss for real and I can feel your touch on my skin and you can hold me in your arms...
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: Oh and yes Spanish guy, my heart is jumping when I think of you and I just can't help it anymore!!
Him: Oh, me too...
Me: *gasp*.... Oh my god Spanish guy, I just realised without realising it before, though I haven't met you but I am in love with you...
Him: Oh, me too... (it means he is also in love with himself)
Me: Aww... Really?
Him: Oh, MUY SI!!
(PS: I could've used exclaimation marks but I thought it's more "sensitive", "gentle" and "loving" with several dots...)
Then what? We celebrated our "virtual love" by typing some girly emoticons where I showed him my lips and he showed me his lips then we "thought" we "kissed" for the "very first time"??
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
... and mind you, my relationship with Alberto isn't based on that bloody shit and we never said lines like that!!
How pukey! How could John link me with such a pukey personality???
He claimed he was quite worried about me as I got involved in another relationship not so long after my previous relationship had ended.
... and the new relationship, in his thoughts, was merely virtual!!!
Men, they never listen, I remember so well, I told him, in early July, that I was "dating" a Spanish guy!
"Dating"!! I thought the idea of "dating" is that you actually go out and do stuffs together!
Ok, perhaps I used the term "seeing", but who bloody cares?! It's the bloody same!
John also claimed that because I am quite active online, he has me on friendster therefore he thought that Spanish guy was only an "online" friend whom I had the hot for, whom might have, or might not have the hot for me!
... and whom I might secretly have virtual sex with, if I liked.
REALLY????
He thought I was into this kinda shit??
So I asked John not to insult my intelligence nor "cheapalise" me, luckily he did not ask me if I even fit to say it!
Forgive me but unless I am as dumb as Judy, I could never call someone on the internet "my friend", let alone the term "boyfriend".
People online to me are several people I know virtually, some whom I find easy to talk to I would declare them as my "online friend", but that's as far as where it'd go.
Internet might be a place to interact with people, but never a place to fall in love, it's merely virtual!!
Those people I know are basically like people I don't know!
No way I would think about them every night and day, every day and night, then finally decided that I should call them up one day and say, "hey you somebody, I... I... I... love you *blush*".
Psffffff!!!
I don't even believe in love at first sight for Pete's sake!
It wouldn't be easy for me to declare somebody I know as a "friend" even if I met him/her, and I don't just meet internet people like that!
Even more no way for me to fly somewhere to meet somebody online, that is just plain dumb and dangerous!
... but hmm, flying to Spain might be interesting, guys there are incredibly hot!
By the way, who the hell is Pete?
Thursday, 4 September 2008
The Foreign Bride
Some men are crazy about purchasing a wife off the Internet.
I first heard of the "mail order bride" service from my ex, he said a lot of Filipino girls do that, they sell their life through the Internet to get money for their family.
Very noble, I know.
He said Filipino, I don't know why he only focused on one race, there are lots of other races anyway!!
Those girls, publishing their very "gentle" or very "slutty" pictures on the Internet trying to get attention from men.
Some even pose in bikinis or bras, trying to be as revealing as possible, wow, free preview!
They all have this "ooh-marry-me-I-will-take-care-of-you-all-your-life-and-have-sex-
with-you-anytime-and-I-don't-mind-you-having-sex-with-another-
woman-so-just-give-me-a-lot-of-money!" look.
BUT! This service is non-refundable nor exchangeable, no promotional period nor a 30-day trial!
Most popular brides are from the Asia, of course, we are prettier than any other kind.
Also, it is said that Asian girls are very gentle, sweet, kind, obedient and endurance, so if you want to have sex with somebody else, no worries that they would castrate you.
It is also said that the divorce rate is lower!!
Duh of course, most people using this mail-order service are rather old so I seriously doubt if they have the time or the mood to divorce!
Amazing, of course, if somebody spent a lot of money buying my whole life, I cannot throw things at him, yell at him, scold him, win in a quarrel or whatever kind, it's logical.
Most people advertising themselves as a mail-order bride prefer to marry a white guy for his better look, money and "good manner".
Also, white guys are funnier.
This is what I read from a mail-order bride service site:
"********* girls take pleasure in being submissive to the reasonable demands of our husband. Western men make us feel comfortable, and even protected, as we naturally look to Western men for high moral and spiritual integrity. ******** brides like taller guys and Western features, maybe because of movie heroes."
Wahlao, trying to sell yourself still so many conditions meh!
... and who takes pleasure in "being submissive" to whatever kinds of "demands" of a man?!
That is, unless, you are talking about something rather kinky!
They actually think if western men spend a lot of money "buying" you, they would treat you with love and respect??
Really?? Then I wanna do it too.
Though I think most Asians might have better manner than the westerners!!
I cannot believe men have to fit several criteria to purchase a bride! I thought usually the service match you with whoever whoever!
Who the fuck cares who you end up with??
Oh wait, yes, that makes sense, men are preferred to be rich, old, westerners, dying soon if possible.
I once saw a really really old white man, he looked even older than Hugh Hefner but his partner... She had dark skin, dark hair, authentic Asian look so she might be an Indonesian or Filipino, whatever.
She was wearing something very revealing, but cheap. That top did not suit her at all and she looked awfully slutty. Not that I am evil enough to comment on somebody's fashion taste, but when girls were in clothes that didn't fit them, they looked incredibly cheap and high-class wannabe.
If you don't look good in outfits like that, get something you look better in!
If you're thinking I am too much commenting, picture this: her humble breasts are falling out along with her bra and the label at the back of her top.
Oh sorry, I should've known you would like that.
The Hefner-wannabe must be over 65, he had totally wrinkled skin, so wrinkled that you would mistaken him for an elephant if he has darker or grey skin.
... and very incredibly fat too, he's like the older and more disgusting version of The Hulk, not incredible, just... hulky, in a rather yucky way.
They were together in Watson Sungai Wang opposite Lot 10 near Bukit Bintang, he was paying for some stuffs she bought, quite a lot of money he spent on her!
I tried to put myself in her shoes, now I concluded, no matter how materialistic I am, no matter how into money I am, no matter how much I want to be married, no matter whatever, there IS NO FUCKING WAY I would say yes to be with nor to screw that man!
No even letting him touch me, not even holding his hand, not even giving him a peck, not even going out with him, not even be seen with him!
I don't know much about this service in a foreign land but I had seen stuffs like this in Malaysia.
Here in Malaysia, the foreign bride service is quite popular too, but mostly for Chinese men over their 40s.
I went to the marriage-registered department (whatever it is called) in Muar once to pass up some forms, there were marriage registration forms pasting outside.
You see, in Malaysia, if you want to register to be married with the government, you actually have to have your picture and your partner's picture pasted at the board for people to look at, for 21 days.
If somebody is against this marriage, within these 21 days, they can report it or something, but usually, people are very lazy to do so.
So basically, you are pasting your pictures outside for people to look and laugh at.
I looked at the form, oh, there is this man in his late 50s marrying a young Vietnamese girl.
Oh there is another man in his mid 40s, good good, that's the youngest I could see, he wanted to marry an Indonesian girl.
Then I saw this guy in his late 70s, he was going to marry a Thai bride, his bride, amazingly, is my age.
That's when I started to feel the wonders of foreign bride service.
I would puke thinking I have to spend my whole life with grandpa!!
I talked to my dad about it a few days later, my dad said, when men reached a certain age like 40 or 50, all women are beautiful and the same and they just want a partner to share their life with, despite anything else.
I used to feel sorry for these girls, I think nobody should be forced to do things they don't want to and to spend your whole life with somebody rather old to entertain his penis.
... until I realised a lot of them are actually selling themselves because they are materialistic and oh so into money!
Currency in the west are greater, therefore they marry one westerner to get all the luxuries and stuffs they want.
Why be miserable and unhappy in your own land while you can have a better life somewhere else??
Here in Malaysia, they do it for money (duh, like there's another reason!) along with a visa, but as the money is not so much the currency is no greater, they tend to do mean things, like being horrible to their "purchaser" etc.
Months ago when I was in the court for my court hearing, I actually saw one old man, in his 80s I assume, asking for a divorce from his young Thai wife.
He did not speak Malay therefore the judge had an incredibly hard time questioning him, even the translator couldn't help much, he had hearing problems.
He couldn't even walk properly anyway!!
He claimed that his young wife runaway with lots of young guys months ago and she did not come back ever since.
Poor guy, but if you look him you would understand.
But still doesn't mean what she did was right!
This is like you spending a lot of money buying a so-so laptop and it ran away one day with a new owner!
I saw some news about foreign wives running away from their purchasers here as well, the husbands went to the press with a sad, miserable look begging their "wife" to come home.
I remember once my friend Julia said, she really disliked seeing young girls being with old men, I totally agreed with her.
It gives me goosebumps.
Perhaps I am too mean I look down on these people, but I cannot imagine selling myself, my pride and my happiness for something like this.
I am worthless to the world but priceless to certain people, for all I care, that's more than enough.
I don't know if circumstances come, I would've done the same, but now thinking about it I feel like throwing up.
From the posts girls posted on their profile, agency post on their website, you can conclude that it is a lot easier to find rich, loving men who look like superheroes in the online store than in real life.
So how much are you worth?
Interested?
I first heard of the "mail order bride" service from my ex, he said a lot of Filipino girls do that, they sell their life through the Internet to get money for their family.
Very noble, I know.
He said Filipino, I don't know why he only focused on one race, there are lots of other races anyway!!
Those girls, publishing their very "gentle" or very "slutty" pictures on the Internet trying to get attention from men.
Some even pose in bikinis or bras, trying to be as revealing as possible, wow, free preview!
They all have this "ooh-marry-me-I-will-take-care-of-you-all-your-life-and-have-sex-
with-you-anytime-and-I-don't-mind-you-having-sex-with-another-
woman-so-just-give-me-a-lot-of-money!" look.
BUT! This service is non-refundable nor exchangeable, no promotional period nor a 30-day trial!
Most popular brides are from the Asia, of course, we are prettier than any other kind.
Also, it is said that Asian girls are very gentle, sweet, kind, obedient and endurance, so if you want to have sex with somebody else, no worries that they would castrate you.
It is also said that the divorce rate is lower!!
Duh of course, most people using this mail-order service are rather old so I seriously doubt if they have the time or the mood to divorce!
Amazing, of course, if somebody spent a lot of money buying my whole life, I cannot throw things at him, yell at him, scold him, win in a quarrel or whatever kind, it's logical.
Most people advertising themselves as a mail-order bride prefer to marry a white guy for his better look, money and "good manner".
Also, white guys are funnier.
This is what I read from a mail-order bride service site:
"********* girls take pleasure in being submissive to the reasonable demands of our husband. Western men make us feel comfortable, and even protected, as we naturally look to Western men for high moral and spiritual integrity. ******** brides like taller guys and Western features, maybe because of movie heroes."
Wahlao, trying to sell yourself still so many conditions meh!
... and who takes pleasure in "being submissive" to whatever kinds of "demands" of a man?!
That is, unless, you are talking about something rather kinky!
They actually think if western men spend a lot of money "buying" you, they would treat you with love and respect??
Really?? Then I wanna do it too.
Though I think most Asians might have better manner than the westerners!!
I cannot believe men have to fit several criteria to purchase a bride! I thought usually the service match you with whoever whoever!
Who the fuck cares who you end up with??
Oh wait, yes, that makes sense, men are preferred to be rich, old, westerners, dying soon if possible.
I once saw a really really old white man, he looked even older than Hugh Hefner but his partner... She had dark skin, dark hair, authentic Asian look so she might be an Indonesian or Filipino, whatever.
She was wearing something very revealing, but cheap. That top did not suit her at all and she looked awfully slutty. Not that I am evil enough to comment on somebody's fashion taste, but when girls were in clothes that didn't fit them, they looked incredibly cheap and high-class wannabe.
If you don't look good in outfits like that, get something you look better in!
If you're thinking I am too much commenting, picture this: her humble breasts are falling out along with her bra and the label at the back of her top.
Oh sorry, I should've known you would like that.
The Hefner-wannabe must be over 65, he had totally wrinkled skin, so wrinkled that you would mistaken him for an elephant if he has darker or grey skin.
... and very incredibly fat too, he's like the older and more disgusting version of The Hulk, not incredible, just... hulky, in a rather yucky way.
They were together in Watson Sungai Wang opposite Lot 10 near Bukit Bintang, he was paying for some stuffs she bought, quite a lot of money he spent on her!
I tried to put myself in her shoes, now I concluded, no matter how materialistic I am, no matter how into money I am, no matter how much I want to be married, no matter whatever, there IS NO FUCKING WAY I would say yes to be with nor to screw that man!
No even letting him touch me, not even holding his hand, not even giving him a peck, not even going out with him, not even be seen with him!
I don't know much about this service in a foreign land but I had seen stuffs like this in Malaysia.
Here in Malaysia, the foreign bride service is quite popular too, but mostly for Chinese men over their 40s.
I went to the marriage-registered department (whatever it is called) in Muar once to pass up some forms, there were marriage registration forms pasting outside.
You see, in Malaysia, if you want to register to be married with the government, you actually have to have your picture and your partner's picture pasted at the board for people to look at, for 21 days.
If somebody is against this marriage, within these 21 days, they can report it or something, but usually, people are very lazy to do so.
So basically, you are pasting your pictures outside for people to look and laugh at.
I looked at the form, oh, there is this man in his late 50s marrying a young Vietnamese girl.
Oh there is another man in his mid 40s, good good, that's the youngest I could see, he wanted to marry an Indonesian girl.
Then I saw this guy in his late 70s, he was going to marry a Thai bride, his bride, amazingly, is my age.
That's when I started to feel the wonders of foreign bride service.
I would puke thinking I have to spend my whole life with grandpa!!
I talked to my dad about it a few days later, my dad said, when men reached a certain age like 40 or 50, all women are beautiful and the same and they just want a partner to share their life with, despite anything else.
I used to feel sorry for these girls, I think nobody should be forced to do things they don't want to and to spend your whole life with somebody rather old to entertain his penis.
... until I realised a lot of them are actually selling themselves because they are materialistic and oh so into money!
Currency in the west are greater, therefore they marry one westerner to get all the luxuries and stuffs they want.
Why be miserable and unhappy in your own land while you can have a better life somewhere else??
Here in Malaysia, they do it for money (duh, like there's another reason!) along with a visa, but as the money is not so much the currency is no greater, they tend to do mean things, like being horrible to their "purchaser" etc.
Months ago when I was in the court for my court hearing, I actually saw one old man, in his 80s I assume, asking for a divorce from his young Thai wife.
He did not speak Malay therefore the judge had an incredibly hard time questioning him, even the translator couldn't help much, he had hearing problems.
He couldn't even walk properly anyway!!
He claimed that his young wife runaway with lots of young guys months ago and she did not come back ever since.
Poor guy, but if you look him you would understand.
But still doesn't mean what she did was right!
This is like you spending a lot of money buying a so-so laptop and it ran away one day with a new owner!
I saw some news about foreign wives running away from their purchasers here as well, the husbands went to the press with a sad, miserable look begging their "wife" to come home.
I remember once my friend Julia said, she really disliked seeing young girls being with old men, I totally agreed with her.
It gives me goosebumps.
Perhaps I am too mean I look down on these people, but I cannot imagine selling myself, my pride and my happiness for something like this.
I am worthless to the world but priceless to certain people, for all I care, that's more than enough.
I don't know if circumstances come, I would've done the same, but now thinking about it I feel like throwing up.
From the posts girls posted on their profile, agency post on their website, you can conclude that it is a lot easier to find rich, loving men who look like superheroes in the online store than in real life.
So how much are you worth?
Interested?
The Other Girl
So I don't know why but Terry looked really sad and buu when I entered his class last Thursday.
I was very naughty, I confiscated 2 storybooks of a student, the book's so bloody interesting so I read it secretly when the students are finishing the work I gave them.
Terry, sitting beside me always, had his head really close to mine and read it with me.
I looked at him and I took out the other book of the same series and I lent it to him.
He opened the book, thought for a few seconds and he stuck his head really closed to mine again... and offered to tell me a secret.
Secret?? I LOVE SECRETS!!!!
This time he did not even ask me not to tell anyone!! Either he really trusts me or he thinks I am beyond hope!
So he told me, one girl in his class told her friend she likes Terry.
Or perhaps, she told her she's in love, I don't know the exact term, you know, kids are full of surprises.
Apparently kids can't keep secrets, if not, Terry wouldn't have known that.
Then I popped him so many questions in excitement!! Life is oh so full of joy!
"How do you feel towards her love?"
"How did you response?"
"Will you tell Starrie?"
"Do you secretly think about this girl very often?"
"Do you think your love with Starrie might still be the same after this?"
"Do you think Starrie might get jealous over this little incident?"
"Do you think Starrie will be heartbroken and she will want to break up with you because of this?"
"Do you feel like you have to love Starrie more than usual in order to make her feel that you don't like the other girl?"
"If you and Starrie are not dating, do you think you will accept her?"
He opened his eyes wide, totally stunned by my questions, he did not expect so much.
Damn, I am my mum!!
I did not even bother if he thought about cheating, Terry is sweet and innocent, of course, he's not a grown-up man.
Then today when I was in his class, he was staring at me, like he had a crush on me. But I know he had something he wanted to share with me and he wondered how.
So finally, he opened his mouth..
"Teacher Hu, let me ask you a question, if you have a crush on somebody and your crush did something that annoyed you very much, will you still have a crush on him?"
Wow, that reminds me, it's been awhile since I last "had a crush" on somebody.
So I told him, it really depends, sometimes of course if what he did was too much she would stop her crush for him; if it was something minor, I seriously doubt so.
... and I asked him what horrible thing he did to her, I cannot link somebody sweet like Terry to do something rather unpleasant.
He told me, oh, when he was trying to return her a book, he threw it to her instead of handing it properly to her.
That's it????
He told me she kept staring at him, he was totally uncomfortable.
He then asked me how to avoid her staring at him.
I told him to take some papers and paste it all over his face.
He then asked me how to look at things in this case.
I told him make sure he punched 2 holes to see and 1 hole to breathe.
He also asked me for my opinion on how to stop her crush, he wanted me to suggest ways to annoy her.
I said kiss her lah, he was totally stunned.
Hey, that's REALLY one of the best ways to put me off!!
He then lectured me we had to save our very first kiss to the one we love the most.
I laughed out immediately, dear lord oh dear lord...
My first kiss was to somebody I "liked" but did not like so much.
So let me get this straight, if you were in love with somebody now you found out you loved your ex more, you should knock on his door to give him your first kiss??
WAHAHAHAHAHA, totally unbelievable...
I then told him not to have too much hope for his first kiss, it's nothing that pleasant.
I then asked him if he would try to fall in love with the other girl, he said no, he IS to be faithful to his girlfriend and nobody should not be in love with more than one person.
So I suggested him to be in love with half Starrie half the other girl so in total, he's only in love with one person.
Men are good doing that anyway.
He then claimed the other girl is not beautiful, not good in her studies nor rich, I didn't know money is a criteria.
He seemed pretty bothered.
Good luck to him!
I was very naughty, I confiscated 2 storybooks of a student, the book's so bloody interesting so I read it secretly when the students are finishing the work I gave them.
Terry, sitting beside me always, had his head really close to mine and read it with me.
I looked at him and I took out the other book of the same series and I lent it to him.
He opened the book, thought for a few seconds and he stuck his head really closed to mine again... and offered to tell me a secret.
Secret?? I LOVE SECRETS!!!!
This time he did not even ask me not to tell anyone!! Either he really trusts me or he thinks I am beyond hope!
So he told me, one girl in his class told her friend she likes Terry.
Or perhaps, she told her she's in love, I don't know the exact term, you know, kids are full of surprises.
Apparently kids can't keep secrets, if not, Terry wouldn't have known that.
Then I popped him so many questions in excitement!! Life is oh so full of joy!
"How do you feel towards her love?"
"How did you response?"
"Will you tell Starrie?"
"Do you secretly think about this girl very often?"
"Do you think your love with Starrie might still be the same after this?"
"Do you think Starrie might get jealous over this little incident?"
"Do you think Starrie will be heartbroken and she will want to break up with you because of this?"
"Do you feel like you have to love Starrie more than usual in order to make her feel that you don't like the other girl?"
"If you and Starrie are not dating, do you think you will accept her?"
He opened his eyes wide, totally stunned by my questions, he did not expect so much.
Damn, I am my mum!!
I did not even bother if he thought about cheating, Terry is sweet and innocent, of course, he's not a grown-up man.
Then today when I was in his class, he was staring at me, like he had a crush on me. But I know he had something he wanted to share with me and he wondered how.
So finally, he opened his mouth..
"Teacher Hu, let me ask you a question, if you have a crush on somebody and your crush did something that annoyed you very much, will you still have a crush on him?"
Wow, that reminds me, it's been awhile since I last "had a crush" on somebody.
So I told him, it really depends, sometimes of course if what he did was too much she would stop her crush for him; if it was something minor, I seriously doubt so.
... and I asked him what horrible thing he did to her, I cannot link somebody sweet like Terry to do something rather unpleasant.
He told me, oh, when he was trying to return her a book, he threw it to her instead of handing it properly to her.
That's it????
He told me she kept staring at him, he was totally uncomfortable.
He then asked me how to avoid her staring at him.
I told him to take some papers and paste it all over his face.
He then asked me how to look at things in this case.
I told him make sure he punched 2 holes to see and 1 hole to breathe.
He also asked me for my opinion on how to stop her crush, he wanted me to suggest ways to annoy her.
I said kiss her lah, he was totally stunned.
Hey, that's REALLY one of the best ways to put me off!!
He then lectured me we had to save our very first kiss to the one we love the most.
I laughed out immediately, dear lord oh dear lord...
My first kiss was to somebody I "liked" but did not like so much.
So let me get this straight, if you were in love with somebody now you found out you loved your ex more, you should knock on his door to give him your first kiss??
WAHAHAHAHAHA, totally unbelievable...
I then told him not to have too much hope for his first kiss, it's nothing that pleasant.
I then asked him if he would try to fall in love with the other girl, he said no, he IS to be faithful to his girlfriend and nobody should not be in love with more than one person.
So I suggested him to be in love with half Starrie half the other girl so in total, he's only in love with one person.
Men are good doing that anyway.
He then claimed the other girl is not beautiful, not good in her studies nor rich, I didn't know money is a criteria.
He seemed pretty bothered.
Good luck to him!
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
The Pornographic Talk
People, listen to me, DO NOT BUY PORNS!
I so don't get why people actually waste their money buying porns.
I really hate to see people (esp men who looked extremely perverted) buying porns, I truly have no respect for them.
Or even women, I secretly go "eww, you are perverted enough to waste money on porns!"
Really, they could spend that money constructively!!
Think about it, why waste that money while you can download very good porns off the internet for free??
Even so, you don't have to be seen buying porns and lose my respect, also nobody would know you actually own several or even, many porns.
You can even hide it in a hidden folder so that your girlfriend won't find it and get mad or freak out! Well, men think women aren't smart enough to track down hidden folder anyway so it's basically safe.
Virtual stuffs are easier to store, easier to keep track of, and it doesn't make your house look messy!
It also saves beautiful-yet-shy girls like me the humiliation of being seen buying porns in public, I cannot bear people or most importantly my students shouting "Teacher Hu, I saw you buying porns the other day!!"
Oh no no, I have very good reputation!
See, I am perverted, but I wouldn't waste a single bloody cent on porns!!
In Malaysia, piracy is everywhere so you can see stalls selling porns, here and there. Sometimes you get to see bold men in their late 40s queuing up choosing between different porns. The naked girls/aunties on the covers are totally display-friendly to children.
Those people selling porns will get their karma one day!!
Once, I went out with Stella after we talked about sex all evening during dinner, she asked if I could share her some of the erotic movies I have.
Listen closely, "erotic movies"!!
Oh dear, it's the 21st century, who else watches "erotic movies"!!
I told her, "I am so sorry, I only have porns".
Its the bloody new millennium, everyone goes for porns, duh, especially when you can download it off the internet so easily!!
Then she told me she's going to watch the movies herself for nothing so needless to share her "porns". Again, I am so swept off, who watches porns doing nothing??
I thought people usually masturbate!
I then asked her if she'll get turned on watching porns, she said no.
Totally speechless..
Then when I was in Thailand talking with my friend, Yin, when we were vacating our hotel room, she asked me if I go to the porn sites to view pictures.
Seriously?? Me??
Do I look like the type of girls who would go to that kinda place to see that kinda pictures??
Do I look like the type of girls who would be happy enough only looking at pictures??
No, I don't visit that sort of sites, there are trojans and spywares, I love my computer better than porns or nude pictures.
So yes, if you are very interested in downloading porns through the internet, you could actually go to "google blog search" then try to type several porn movies you know.
If you don't know any good porns, you can try to type in keywords like "sluts", "hardcore" or "XXX" etc etc as the keyword along with rapidshare, you can even quote it if you want, I am very sure they will always lead you where you want yourself to be..
You name it, they have it, it's the wonders of blogspot and rapidshare..
I am so sorry, it's illegal to download copyrighted stuffs (like porns), I know, but it's illegal to buy porns in Malaysia anyway, so either way, crime, crime, crime!
... and don't say shit like "don't watch porns then", hypocrites, you're all here for the very same and apparent reason!!
If you enjoy porns and don't pay for it as well, I shall salute you!!
I so don't get why people actually waste their money buying porns.
I really hate to see people (esp men who looked extremely perverted) buying porns, I truly have no respect for them.
Or even women, I secretly go "eww, you are perverted enough to waste money on porns!"
Really, they could spend that money constructively!!
Think about it, why waste that money while you can download very good porns off the internet for free??
Even so, you don't have to be seen buying porns and lose my respect, also nobody would know you actually own several or even, many porns.
You can even hide it in a hidden folder so that your girlfriend won't find it and get mad or freak out! Well, men think women aren't smart enough to track down hidden folder anyway so it's basically safe.
Virtual stuffs are easier to store, easier to keep track of, and it doesn't make your house look messy!
It also saves beautiful-yet-shy girls like me the humiliation of being seen buying porns in public, I cannot bear people or most importantly my students shouting "Teacher Hu, I saw you buying porns the other day!!"
Oh no no, I have very good reputation!
See, I am perverted, but I wouldn't waste a single bloody cent on porns!!
In Malaysia, piracy is everywhere so you can see stalls selling porns, here and there. Sometimes you get to see bold men in their late 40s queuing up choosing between different porns. The naked girls/aunties on the covers are totally display-friendly to children.
Those people selling porns will get their karma one day!!
Once, I went out with Stella after we talked about sex all evening during dinner, she asked if I could share her some of the erotic movies I have.
Listen closely, "erotic movies"!!
Oh dear, it's the 21st century, who else watches "erotic movies"!!
I told her, "I am so sorry, I only have porns".
Its the bloody new millennium, everyone goes for porns, duh, especially when you can download it off the internet so easily!!
Then she told me she's going to watch the movies herself for nothing so needless to share her "porns". Again, I am so swept off, who watches porns doing nothing??
I thought people usually masturbate!
I then asked her if she'll get turned on watching porns, she said no.
Totally speechless..
Then when I was in Thailand talking with my friend, Yin, when we were vacating our hotel room, she asked me if I go to the porn sites to view pictures.
Seriously?? Me??
Do I look like the type of girls who would go to that kinda place to see that kinda pictures??
Do I look like the type of girls who would be happy enough only looking at pictures??
No, I don't visit that sort of sites, there are trojans and spywares, I love my computer better than porns or nude pictures.
So yes, if you are very interested in downloading porns through the internet, you could actually go to "google blog search" then try to type several porn movies you know.
If you don't know any good porns, you can try to type in keywords like "sluts", "hardcore" or "XXX" etc etc as the keyword along with rapidshare, you can even quote it if you want, I am very sure they will always lead you where you want yourself to be..
You name it, they have it, it's the wonders of blogspot and rapidshare..
I am so sorry, it's illegal to download copyrighted stuffs (like porns), I know, but it's illegal to buy porns in Malaysia anyway, so either way, crime, crime, crime!
... and don't say shit like "don't watch porns then", hypocrites, you're all here for the very same and apparent reason!!
If you enjoy porns and don't pay for it as well, I shall salute you!!
Monday, 1 September 2008
The Duck Talk
When you are in a foreign land, you don't speak the language and you talked in the language which they cannot understand you and they talk back in the language that you cannot understand, you call that "the chicken and duck talk" something, in Chinese, "鸡同鸭讲".
It's true that Thai men never seen cleavages all their lives.
You see, I was walking with two prettier girls, but no men look at them, in fact, they turned around, kept having their eyes on my humble cleavage!
... and it's not that big nor visible for crying out loud!
For this, we can conclude that looks aren't important for men, cleavages are.
I did not notice until my friend, Lanyin, told me so!
She said, "wow, do you know how many men are looking at you?!"
I got all excited, but I couldn't believe it, I was pretty convinced that my friends are prettier.
Then I realised, wow, yes, men WERE looking at me, not my face, but my almost-invisible cleavage.
If you have seen me in real life you would know that I don't bear my chest the way Pamela Anderson does.
Okay, so let's start with my trip.
Lanyin brought along her best friend, Situ Biyi (Chinese). She's really beautiful, she kinda looks like the crossover of Kristin Scott Thomas and Bryce Dallas Howard.
She's like the candy to the eyes, don't you agree with me?
We had so much expectations for Hat Yai, we were told it's the heaven for shopping and we all know Thailand is the heaven for night clubs!
.... but it turned out to be.. shit!
First we were brought to Nora Plaza and we had bird's nest soup there. I had some before, but in Thailand it's a lot cheaper than it should cost in Malaysia, only 200 baht.
Wow, so many different flavours available, coconuts, ginseng, etc etc. We made our orders and it came and we realised, the only flavour available is "syrup"! So bloody sweet we had to swallow the whole bowl!
After that, we checked in to our hotel, finally! I need a shower!!
Then we were brought to this massage place.
You know, usually you get naked being massaged, they cover your areas with a towel and it's supposed to look classy, just like those stock images!
But no, they gave us three sets of cartoon PJs asking us to bloody change into them.
My dad once told me a story of his friend, when he was getting his Thai massage, he felt like he needed to, ahem, defecate during the massage session, oh he was trying his best to hold it back...
Unfortunately, at one moment she pressed too hard, and he just... he just....
So that story taught me a lesson, always go to a massage session with an empty bladder, or rectum, whatever!
Then I asked her where the washroom is...
I said "toi-let", really really slowly, but she still couldn't understand.
Instead, she asked me to take my jeans off, with a hand gesture.
So we talked chickly and duckly after awhile I decided to do a hand-washing gesture, then she went, "oohhhh" and showed me where the washroom is!
When you are somewhere where people don't speak English nor your language, you are screwed!
I heard they speak a little Mandarin and Hokkien, even though I speak both those languages, I felt like I am more comfortable with English, it's more universal.
So okay, we changed into the PJs they provided, and the session started.
Three of us in a room, three masseuses, rubbing us here and there.
I did not like it, they were not as professional as we thought they would be.
First of all, they kept chit-chatting while rubbing us; second of all, they kept watching the tv.
Lanyin was apparently more ticklish than I would she was, as she kept laughing when her masseuse was rubbing her.
Oh, thank you, now she made me ticklish!
It was a little painful, but we did not feel THAT good, relaxed or whatever after the massage like they said we would.
After the massage we went to the supermarket, as the stuffs there are supposed to be inexpensive and of good quality.
... but NOT!!
It's bloody expensive and we could've purchased the same thing in Malaysia with almost the same rate!
Then we took a taxi that's called the "tut-tut car" in Hat Yai to go to the market, they said it's a must-go as the stuffs there are inexpensive and nice!
Ok, we still had our expectations and we did not want to rush into buying nice stuffs, same like two people wouldn't want to rush into sex when they first started dating, you know..
So we stopped off for some food and drinks first!
We first had this "egg cake" which is pretty delicious, then we tried this coconut drink, something, I absolutely hate it!
Then we tried this bird eggs.. Now that's what I call, nice food! It bloomed in your mouth, like a beautiful flower...
We should've known that the stuffs in the market are crap and they only suit old aunties with horrible fashion taste, as the clothes there are incredibly cheap, like something a low-class Asian prostitute would wear. Of course, the price wouldn't be so high with that design!!
I was looking for underwear, nice underwear, but not something a prostitute would wear!
Now we did not expect that, we were really disappointed!
We went back to our hotel a little earlier than we expected, not much to shop about :(
If we changed our mind we could still catch the "ah-gua show" (she-males).
We decided that we would drop our stuffs in the room first, then went out shopping again before dinner, then we would wait for John to come back from the show and we would all go clubbing together.
I brought along a very sexy dress for that!!
The night view was wonderful, though we were tired, we had fun looking at the city and we enjoyed one another's companies.
It was wonderful shopping, but the dinner was horrible, dirty and horrible, in fact!
Then we came to this stall with a lot of fried stuffs like chicken, birds, crabs, prawns etc etc..
It looked incredibly yummy!!
I MUST eat them!
As they turned out to be incredibly delicious, just like they looked.
It was a shame we did not see John after the show therefore we did not go to a club or a pub, we did not see any exciting ones anyway.
The next morning, while waiting to leave the place, we, as the camwhores took some snaps.
The tour-guide must've told the other bus the wrong time as we spent like 40 minutes waiting for the rest of the team!
It was annoying, while waiting, the Malaysian tour-guide told us the Thai tour-guide was leaving therefore she asked us to give a little "happy money"!
Funny how people name money with whatever adjectives, I thought money is always happy!
We were stunned, like he did not earn enough commission from the massage session, the she-male show and those shops he took us to!
Okay, we were embarrassed not to give anything, therefore we gave very little money, like 2 bucks.
He sang a song for us anyway.
The tour-guides should stop being so cunning!!
After we checked out at the custom, we snapped a picture.
An annoying aunty aka colleague was in the picture too, you see the front red spirit beside Lanyin? She's it. No no, not the one at the back!
I had to crop her out of it.
The Thailand trip was fun, though disappointing.
It's true that Thai men never seen cleavages all their lives.
You see, I was walking with two prettier girls, but no men look at them, in fact, they turned around, kept having their eyes on my humble cleavage!
... and it's not that big nor visible for crying out loud!
For this, we can conclude that looks aren't important for men, cleavages are.
I did not notice until my friend, Lanyin, told me so!
She said, "wow, do you know how many men are looking at you?!"
I got all excited, but I couldn't believe it, I was pretty convinced that my friends are prettier.
Then I realised, wow, yes, men WERE looking at me, not my face, but my almost-invisible cleavage.
If you have seen me in real life you would know that I don't bear my chest the way Pamela Anderson does.
Okay, so let's start with my trip.
Lanyin brought along her best friend, Situ Biyi (Chinese). She's really beautiful, she kinda looks like the crossover of Kristin Scott Thomas and Bryce Dallas Howard.
She's like the candy to the eyes, don't you agree with me?
We had so much expectations for Hat Yai, we were told it's the heaven for shopping and we all know Thailand is the heaven for night clubs!
.... but it turned out to be.. shit!
First we were brought to Nora Plaza and we had bird's nest soup there. I had some before, but in Thailand it's a lot cheaper than it should cost in Malaysia, only 200 baht.
Wow, so many different flavours available, coconuts, ginseng, etc etc. We made our orders and it came and we realised, the only flavour available is "syrup"! So bloody sweet we had to swallow the whole bowl!
After that, we checked in to our hotel, finally! I need a shower!!
Then we were brought to this massage place.
You know, usually you get naked being massaged, they cover your areas with a towel and it's supposed to look classy, just like those stock images!
But no, they gave us three sets of cartoon PJs asking us to bloody change into them.
My dad once told me a story of his friend, when he was getting his Thai massage, he felt like he needed to, ahem, defecate during the massage session, oh he was trying his best to hold it back...
Unfortunately, at one moment she pressed too hard, and he just... he just....
So that story taught me a lesson, always go to a massage session with an empty bladder, or rectum, whatever!
Then I asked her where the washroom is...
I said "toi-let", really really slowly, but she still couldn't understand.
Instead, she asked me to take my jeans off, with a hand gesture.
So we talked chickly and duckly after awhile I decided to do a hand-washing gesture, then she went, "oohhhh" and showed me where the washroom is!
When you are somewhere where people don't speak English nor your language, you are screwed!
I heard they speak a little Mandarin and Hokkien, even though I speak both those languages, I felt like I am more comfortable with English, it's more universal.
So okay, we changed into the PJs they provided, and the session started.
Three of us in a room, three masseuses, rubbing us here and there.
I did not like it, they were not as professional as we thought they would be.
First of all, they kept chit-chatting while rubbing us; second of all, they kept watching the tv.
Lanyin was apparently more ticklish than I would she was, as she kept laughing when her masseuse was rubbing her.
Oh, thank you, now she made me ticklish!
It was a little painful, but we did not feel THAT good, relaxed or whatever after the massage like they said we would.
After the massage we went to the supermarket, as the stuffs there are supposed to be inexpensive and of good quality.
... but NOT!!
It's bloody expensive and we could've purchased the same thing in Malaysia with almost the same rate!
Then we took a taxi that's called the "tut-tut car" in Hat Yai to go to the market, they said it's a must-go as the stuffs there are inexpensive and nice!
Ok, we still had our expectations and we did not want to rush into buying nice stuffs, same like two people wouldn't want to rush into sex when they first started dating, you know..
So we stopped off for some food and drinks first!
We first had this "egg cake" which is pretty delicious, then we tried this coconut drink, something, I absolutely hate it!
Then we tried this bird eggs.. Now that's what I call, nice food! It bloomed in your mouth, like a beautiful flower...
We should've known that the stuffs in the market are crap and they only suit old aunties with horrible fashion taste, as the clothes there are incredibly cheap, like something a low-class Asian prostitute would wear. Of course, the price wouldn't be so high with that design!!
I was looking for underwear, nice underwear, but not something a prostitute would wear!
Now we did not expect that, we were really disappointed!
We went back to our hotel a little earlier than we expected, not much to shop about :(
If we changed our mind we could still catch the "ah-gua show" (she-males).
We decided that we would drop our stuffs in the room first, then went out shopping again before dinner, then we would wait for John to come back from the show and we would all go clubbing together.
I brought along a very sexy dress for that!!
The night view was wonderful, though we were tired, we had fun looking at the city and we enjoyed one another's companies.
It was wonderful shopping, but the dinner was horrible, dirty and horrible, in fact!
Then we came to this stall with a lot of fried stuffs like chicken, birds, crabs, prawns etc etc..
It looked incredibly yummy!!
I MUST eat them!
As they turned out to be incredibly delicious, just like they looked.
It was a shame we did not see John after the show therefore we did not go to a club or a pub, we did not see any exciting ones anyway.
The next morning, while waiting to leave the place, we, as the camwhores took some snaps.
The tour-guide must've told the other bus the wrong time as we spent like 40 minutes waiting for the rest of the team!
It was annoying, while waiting, the Malaysian tour-guide told us the Thai tour-guide was leaving therefore she asked us to give a little "happy money"!
Funny how people name money with whatever adjectives, I thought money is always happy!
We were stunned, like he did not earn enough commission from the massage session, the she-male show and those shops he took us to!
Okay, we were embarrassed not to give anything, therefore we gave very little money, like 2 bucks.
He sang a song for us anyway.
The tour-guides should stop being so cunning!!
After we checked out at the custom, we snapped a picture.
An annoying aunty aka colleague was in the picture too, you see the front red spirit beside Lanyin? She's it. No no, not the one at the back!
I had to crop her out of it.
The Thailand trip was fun, though disappointing.
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