The Souvenir

If there's something I learn about men, it's not how perverted they are, but it's how lack of peeing knowledge in their pea-sized brain.

You know, men really cannot blame women wanting them to put down the toilet seat the whole time, hell we will allow you to use the toilet seat if you teach your penis how to aim properly.

I hate it, after a man use your toilet, they leave you a souvenir or two on the toilet for you. I am talking about a tiny drop of their yellowish liquid or an organic dental floss, but I am not going to ramble on how men should look after their pubic hair here.

Look, I am not demanding nor high-maintenance but who would like to sit on a toilet with a mini pool of pee on it??

I remember last time when Alberto and I were still living in Braddell Hill, there's this air-cond guy who came to fix the air-cond one day.

Oh no, I did not push him towards the wall and starred in a new porn with him, but he did use my toilet.

I mean, don't guys at least like check the toilet after they shake their willy dry after peeing??

He left me a very nice drop of Mr-Little-Air-Cond, judging from the colour, I know he's not a very healthy person and he does not drink 8 glasses of water per day.

I could not shout at him because we're not dating, so I had no choice but to spray water on it while being extremely annoyed.

My ex had the same bad habit, if I left home for a few days, the whole toilet seat transformed from a Caucasian to an Asian when I returned.

Do men even know how to pee?? They should really tone down their ego and sit down and listen to women sometimes, sure we women know how to pee better than men.

This whole men-drama becomes more dramatic today, when I was in the bus, the smell was unbearable after 1 and a half men use the toilet.

I am telling you, I almost fainted when I passed by the door, U-N-B-E-A-R-A-B-L-E!

I had no courage to open the door, I haven't turned 26, I'm still a baby, I don't need to die to make people call me young.

The driver had to enter and cleaned the toilet a little. According to him, the bloody peed all over the floor while pretended to be really pobre so I would pamper him...

I would really love to unbelt the older man to see if his willy is like a turning/shaking vibrator, that's the only logical explanation why he peed all over the floor. The other half man was a little boy, well I don't wanna go to prison so I'll keep the mystery in mind.

Catherine Zeta-Jones once said the key to happy marriage is a separate toilet, that's wise, I can really understand that.

You could never trust a man to handle toilet, well, can't really blame them, they don't know how to handle their own penis anyway.

I am so lucky Alberto doesn't leave me these sweet little souvenirs at home, maybe that's why I am still happy with him after 2 years plus of dating.

So blessed, sure I am, bendecida!