The Essential Adjectives, The To-Change-or-Not-To Changes and The Poetic Morning

Women should really learn to be less boring to the public eye.

So there I was, in an English course since they claimed we "need" to "improve" our English and fighting my urge to stand up and curse fuck you.

First, we were supposed to come out with a group name. Ok, this course will go on for the next 7 months so I guessed, if you have to tag yourself like that for such a long period, it's gotta be something outstandingly impressive.

But as far as I was concerned, the other groups were "English is fun", "English without tears", "English train-ride!", "The Key Group", etc, yay.

Oh my god that's like Jesus-loves-me-ly boring.

Let me give you a head's up, a group name, is perhaps, something like "The Thirsty Hippos", "The Jumping Dinosaurs", "The Funny Gorillas", or "The Psychiatric Bitches".

... or something hi-tech that fits in this 21st century like "The Colourful Fire-foxes", "The Internet'ional Explorers", "The Googling Goggles", or perhaps, "The U Tubes".

What the hell is with statement-friendly names like "English is fun" and "English without tears"?!?!

So when my group was trying to come out with a name, somebody suggested "Johoreans" since we are all from Johor.

Wow, really? One thing they really have to know about me, I will never allow something related to me to have such an ordinary name.

I was trying to find a way to reject that stupid name, I was thinking about, perhaps, "Psychedelic Climax", but I doubt their limited brain knowledge knows anything about sense-of-humour-when-it-comes-to-naming-your-group.

Besides, I corrected and pushed my ideas into their minds for a thousand times this morning, I still thought it's too early to show how demanding I am so I guessed I would tolerate the word "Johoreans"...

... only if they agreed to add another adjective called "sophisticated" into our group name.

Boring aside, "Johoreans" are so chicken-from-the-village, but hmm, kinda rude to keep correcting people.

So there, we are the "Sophisticated Johoreans", classy huh?

The world is such a better place with adjectives!

... and adjectives do bring out the essential with Giselle Hu's wisdom!

Then, they wanted us to get into our groups and discuss what women want.

I won't tell you how tempted I was to put up my hand and say "orgasms". I did not do it though, I am very strong-willed.

I really couldn't, I sat around lots of Muslims, traditionally old-fashioned Chinese aunties and some rather perverted-looking male, I wouldn't want to get into any sort of troubles.

Don't we miss the old days where what all women want is to find a good ol' husband?

After 15 minutes of discussion and 5 minutes of presentations I really could not believe what those women think women want...

Look at this, they compiled something that said:
"Oh, what I want in my life are
Number one, money
Number two, a good husband
Number three, obedient children
Number four, loving family
Number five, spiritual life...

Zzzzzz, zzzzz, oh sorry about that, I just fell asleep.

That's so 50s-ly housewives, what are they doing out?

So I said, what I think, generally women want:
1. Power
2. Respect
3. Health
4. Security
5. Beauty
6. Youth
7. Career
8. Freedom
9. Joy
10. Beautiful Dresses
... and I leave the essential to the end: Men.

Oh I so cannot live without men for one single day of my life, and yes, we women are just as shallow as you men, only you hope for an extra large penis every day but we don't.

I am a rather humble person, I had to present a list that's neutral to me and women in general. I mean if I really have to compile a list of what I really want, this would be it:
1. Sex
2. A full treasure chest of expensive and kinky sex toys.
3. Unlimited supplies of nice pornographic movies
4. Six wardrobes of beautiful dresses and sexy lingeries for the occasions.
5. Legal pirated downloads.
6. To have sex, once at least, with Tang Wei before I die.
7. To give Tommy Robredo a kiss on the cheek when he wins Wimbledon this year.
8. Power to rule over men
9. Men
10. Men falling for me
11. Men
and
12. Men falling for me.

I cannot really say that can I? I don't think old-fashioned people have such a big sense of humour.

I guess being boring do make a difference.

Surprised as I am, but being around those boring people, I had more fun than I should and made more friends than I thought I would.

I look forward to being around boring people soon.

The Vogue Ride

The MRT in Singapore sure knows how to be in fashion!

Just when you thought this please-don't-let-anyone-bomb-our-mrt game is going nowhere and you no longer pay attention to the aunties and uncles starring in the video, they thought of something new to alert you.

Now I don't know about the red and the green line but if you're taking the purple line, you will hear numerous "please do not lean against the door".

Funny, I think they just picked a random officer out of their staffs, he speaks English with a local accent, very annoying-hearing.

He doesn't say "please do not lean against the door" in a pleasant tone, he says "pleeeesss do not leeeeeennnnnn againsssssss the dooooooor."

Ok, I am exaggerating, I'll admit it, but bottom line, he sounds very local and oh-I-am-so-buu-because-I-am-at-work.

This pre-recorded line will be played when a new station is reached, before they open the door. They all sound the same to me but Alberto says they recorded a few different versions,
some versions sound angrier.

I wonder how leaning against the train doors makes a difference, Alberto claimed safety aside, it might damage their door.

Ahh, that's not really our problem isn't it?

They tell you how dangerous it is to lean against the door but never an accident about it. Like how people tell you Durex is not safe but I never get knocked up after all these years of testing.

Yes, let's entertain ourselves while taking the ride, shall we?