Perhaps merdeka is approaching, everyone's crazy for Malaysia.
Flags, here and there, they're almost like your ex-boyfriends, everywhere where you don't want them to be.
The students have been really obsessed lately with all the "patriotism" projects we give. They kept asking their moral teacher which happens to be me in a very unfortunate way, if I loved Malaysia.
Psfffff, everyone knows exactly what my answer is!!
I am basically married to Malaysia!!
... because I dislike it more and more each day!
Yeah, if I told this to an American he will probably tell me I should be proud to be an Ame.. I mean, Malaysian.
Of course, as a Moral teacher I have to pretend to pretend to be very decent... and I am oooh so passionate to Malaysia.
To prove how passionate and in love I am, I told them I recently bought a product that is proudly released by Malaysia.
It has the same function just like apple's iPod, only it's so much easier as it uses the window explorer and it enables you to drag-and-drop.
You don't have to launch the annoying iTunes and get bloody frustrated because it tends to sync things you don't want it to sync and erase things you don't want it to erase.
The name of this fantastic Pody thingy is called..
"Kari-Pod".
Not nene-pod, but Kari-Pod.
It's not under apple, that's not a national brand, it's released under a new company called "Tembikai".
I told them, the function is very savvy-tech and easy, it's USB 2.0 friendly and it has the designed of a traditional Malaysian weapon called "keris".
Also, it is optimized for quick removal so you can actually disconnect the device without using the "Safe Removal" thingy.
Well actually a lot of thumb-drives are optimized for that but they don't know that.
I just realised I am VERY good doing business! It's a total waste of my brain and cunningness that I became a teacher, damn!
I even painted the product on the board to show how dedicated I am!
So they looked at my masterpiece for a few seconds, then they asked...
"So how to turn this thing on?"
First of all I warned them, you don't call this thing "this thing", we all should be damn proud and be respectful towards a national product!
... and the on/off function is simple, you actually use the end of the sword to stab yourself once to turn on, twice to off.
No no, don't worry, it's completely safe and electronically tested, just like all condoms!
It has a very little spring inside so when you stab yourself with it, it pushes the switch inside for it to come on.
Very thoughtful, I absolutely love it! I really hate to press the "on" button for 2/3 seconds and wait for the "on" light to come on.
That's what I like about this product, very thoughtful, deep-thinking, and insight!
The next question, "how much do I have to pay for this wonderfully great product?"
Malaysia is currently doing a promotion until merdeka, so if you order right now, you get 20% discount along with a Malaysian flag sticker which you can proudly stick it anywhere you want, but it's recommended for you to stick at the back of your "kari-pod".
You can get it at any Tesco outlet, usual price is RM64.46, price after discount is RM51.57.
51 means Malaysia is 51 this year and 57 is the year we claimed our independence.
See, they even put a lot of thoughts into the price! How amazed can I be right now!!
No no, you don't have to send it for servicing every 2 days like the Proton cars, it's very reliable and the last I heard, it's nominated for some awards.
After bragging for a few minutes, they popped so many questions, but of course, they are smart enough not to believe me.
I had so much fun bullshitting them, they had so much fun being bullshitted.
... and we know that "pretending to pretend" is not pretending, so I really DO feel the passion!
Happy merdeka, yeah, whatever!
Thursday, 28 August 2008
The Real Age
Will those who know my real age please stand up?
People have real problems guessing my real age, I was born in 1984, the year of rat which makes me 24 this year but because of the way I talk, dress up maturely and dated several mature guys, people actually think that I was 24 six years ago.
Which means, the usual age people think is my real age plus 6, so that makes me about 30 this year.
Try using this formula, "n+6".
I looked at girls around me, they like pinky girly stuffs so much and they go "EEEEEEE, it is SOOOOOOOOO cute!" whenever it's appropriate so people think they are SO cute (bleh).
We all know, when people think you're cute, you never age.
Like Alberto, look at him with a baby face, people actually think he is younger than me!
I should buy more pink stuffs!
Look at my clothes, black dresses, black shirts, black underwear, white shoes (ok, that's the only thing I wear which is not black).
I should change them all to pink, it's always a pleasure to become the Pink Panther, you could striptease with the music just like the Pussy-cat Dolls (you know perfectly why I dashed the word "pussycat").
Then your age can go the dual way: when you striptease, you are more mature and when you don't striptease, you are younger.
The 3 questions a student like most to ask a teacher is:
1. How old are you?
2. When is your birthday?
3. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
But somebody as mean as me will never tell them the real answer, ie. if possible, I will answer the 3rd question with one word "homosexual". But I can't because if I did, I will most probably be arrested for "encouraging homosexuality among the children".
Yes I know, I am popular for corrupting people, but that's really not my fault!
Also I know, I am full of shit, if my students ask me who Alberto is, I will tell them he is my very noble father.
So, every class I have taught (50 students each class) asked me about my age. I normally tell them I am 55 and the reason I don't age is because I use very good skin products.
A lot, every day, 24/7.
If they keep asking, I will recommend them some really good skin products for their mothers. Which is totally unreliable because I use none.
If they won't stop still I will tell them I am actually 2197 years old, the reason I don't age is simple, that's because I turned into a vampire 2171 years ago.
Then I will ask them to keep that secret to themselves because I cannot bear people finding out the truth.
Of course, everyone knows I am full of shit so no one believes me, so my usual reaction is to open my eyes as wide as possible and pretend to be really innocent and say "really!" with a really sad and hurt face.
I am good faking, you should know that by now.
My colleague once told my students I was 26 last year, what a bitch, the students came to me and sang the "la-la-we-know-your-age" song, but the bloody age was totally wrong and they didn't believe me!
They so need to know that Teacher Hu does tell the truth sometimes!
That's like 3 years older than my real age!
My god, she is really bitchy, for your information, the only time Chinese people add 3 years to their real age is only when they die!!
So the next day I seeked the colleague and asked if she knew my age, she told me yes, she knew that I am a year younger than her which was correct, bitch!
There were two students chatting with me in the field during their sports lesson last year, they were having a lot of fun guessing my age, A student guessed "23?".
I was going to deny like I always do, but before I said anything, B student turned to her and scolded her badly by saying "How is it possible!"
Then she gave her a loser-you-can't-guess-age-correctly look, then turned to me and asked "28?" What a potential bitch!!
Yes, A student cannot guess age correctly, that's not the usual number people would go for.
I get kinda hurt few days ago when I told my students again that I am 55 and they asked me in an innocent way, "Miss Hu, you are only in your 30s, why do you have to lie to us?"
FAINT!
I AM NOT EVEN BLOODY 25!!
I'll never forget, when I was 18 and 19 in my college, I enjoyed asking people to guess my age because they always guessed between 25-28.
It's fun to tell them I was 19 and watched the surprised, shocked and "what's-your-secret" look on their face.
Then when I was transfered to this school that I am teaching right now, the teachers here claimed that "Giselle Hu is not as young as she looks" behind my back.
Bitches!! I AM younger than I look!!
The news actually went on for over a year and a half.
Until last Saturday!
When I was in the team building, my colleague found out I am 24 and she started to spread the news around, I actually had to show somebody my identity card to prove my innocence!!
I don't do that usually, I never cared, but I wanted to revenge that "ooh-don't-lie-you-do-look-old" look!
So how old do you think I look like? If you guess 24 or younger, you're not very bright ;)
People have real problems guessing my real age, I was born in 1984, the year of rat which makes me 24 this year but because of the way I talk, dress up maturely and dated several mature guys, people actually think that I was 24 six years ago.
Which means, the usual age people think is my real age plus 6, so that makes me about 30 this year.
Try using this formula, "n+6".
I looked at girls around me, they like pinky girly stuffs so much and they go "EEEEEEE, it is SOOOOOOOOO cute!" whenever it's appropriate so people think they are SO cute (bleh).
We all know, when people think you're cute, you never age.
Like Alberto, look at him with a baby face, people actually think he is younger than me!
I should buy more pink stuffs!
Look at my clothes, black dresses, black shirts, black underwear, white shoes (ok, that's the only thing I wear which is not black).
I should change them all to pink, it's always a pleasure to become the Pink Panther, you could striptease with the music just like the Pussy-cat Dolls (you know perfectly why I dashed the word "pussycat").
Then your age can go the dual way: when you striptease, you are more mature and when you don't striptease, you are younger.
The 3 questions a student like most to ask a teacher is:
1. How old are you?
2. When is your birthday?
3. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
But somebody as mean as me will never tell them the real answer, ie. if possible, I will answer the 3rd question with one word "homosexual". But I can't because if I did, I will most probably be arrested for "encouraging homosexuality among the children".
Yes I know, I am popular for corrupting people, but that's really not my fault!
Also I know, I am full of shit, if my students ask me who Alberto is, I will tell them he is my very noble father.
So, every class I have taught (50 students each class) asked me about my age. I normally tell them I am 55 and the reason I don't age is because I use very good skin products.
A lot, every day, 24/7.
If they keep asking, I will recommend them some really good skin products for their mothers. Which is totally unreliable because I use none.
If they won't stop still I will tell them I am actually 2197 years old, the reason I don't age is simple, that's because I turned into a vampire 2171 years ago.
Then I will ask them to keep that secret to themselves because I cannot bear people finding out the truth.
Of course, everyone knows I am full of shit so no one believes me, so my usual reaction is to open my eyes as wide as possible and pretend to be really innocent and say "really!" with a really sad and hurt face.
I am good faking, you should know that by now.
My colleague once told my students I was 26 last year, what a bitch, the students came to me and sang the "la-la-we-know-your-age" song, but the bloody age was totally wrong and they didn't believe me!
They so need to know that Teacher Hu does tell the truth sometimes!
That's like 3 years older than my real age!
My god, she is really bitchy, for your information, the only time Chinese people add 3 years to their real age is only when they die!!
So the next day I seeked the colleague and asked if she knew my age, she told me yes, she knew that I am a year younger than her which was correct, bitch!
There were two students chatting with me in the field during their sports lesson last year, they were having a lot of fun guessing my age, A student guessed "23?".
I was going to deny like I always do, but before I said anything, B student turned to her and scolded her badly by saying "How is it possible!"
Then she gave her a loser-you-can't-guess-age-correctly look, then turned to me and asked "28?" What a potential bitch!!
Yes, A student cannot guess age correctly, that's not the usual number people would go for.
I get kinda hurt few days ago when I told my students again that I am 55 and they asked me in an innocent way, "Miss Hu, you are only in your 30s, why do you have to lie to us?"
FAINT!
I AM NOT EVEN BLOODY 25!!
I'll never forget, when I was 18 and 19 in my college, I enjoyed asking people to guess my age because they always guessed between 25-28.
It's fun to tell them I was 19 and watched the surprised, shocked and "what's-your-secret" look on their face.
Then when I was transfered to this school that I am teaching right now, the teachers here claimed that "Giselle Hu is not as young as she looks" behind my back.
Bitches!! I AM younger than I look!!
The news actually went on for over a year and a half.
Until last Saturday!
When I was in the team building, my colleague found out I am 24 and she started to spread the news around, I actually had to show somebody my identity card to prove my innocence!!
I don't do that usually, I never cared, but I wanted to revenge that "ooh-don't-lie-you-do-look-old" look!
So how old do you think I look like? If you guess 24 or younger, you're not very bright ;)
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
The Other Blogger
I... I... I just realised that I don't know my sister that well.
Make sense, yeah, I never liked her that much anyway.
I am pure evil, I know, but we were never in a good relationship.
So today, I went to friendster to wish my friend Starfruit happy 25th birthday, I saw this girl with a "I-am-just-as-cute-as-any-Taiwanese-girls-kawaii-ooo" pose, she bloody is my sister!
My sister, Judy aka "Sakura" (yuch), she is 17 at the moment. Both me and my sister are very bloody different you would think we have different mothers!
Nope I don't have a Japanese problem but I really REALLY dislike Chinese girls giving themselves a Japanese name!
Though my sister is 7 years younger than me, people actually think she is older.. Ok, not exactly, her skin is better than me, she is fairer, taller, dumber... I look more mature than my actual age people actually thought I am in my 30s, so she's gonna have to look like 35 to beat me, which she doesn't.
We are so bloody different, I was never into any of those "cartoon-like" character, Asian-girls-acting-cute culture, etc etc.
I was really into English, she is really into Japanese.
I was not a believer of love; she is a true believer, she never stopped dreaming and picturing, she even wrote a few romantic "novels" and passed them on to her friends to read, they all loved it.
I never liked Hairy-gay-Potter, in fact, I am so bloody against it, but she read every of the Potter novel.
I was active on the internet flirting with guys in my teenage, she was too, so one common there, but I was never serious with them but she fell in love with somebody, they never met, yet he called her every day and told her he loved her, she told him she loved him too, duh.
I was more boyish, she is more girly.
I never liked those shining twinkling girly thingy but she totally does...
I never liked reading Japanese manga comics but she does, totally...
She likes shopping but I thought shopping was a complete waste of time at her age.
So she linked her friendster profile to her blogspot blog, which I won't link you to read to waste your time. What can teenage girls write anyway??
Her blogs are either in Japanese or Chinese, most people reading my blog don't understand these 2 languages.
Wait.. not that many people reading my blog anyway! I would say.. No more than 5??
Ok, wait a minute, I feel like I am going to puke reading my sister's blog...
Her blogs are very short, cute, teenage-like, totally not my type.
Also, something proves that my sister and I aren't that closed, she never mentioned me in her blog.
As I can see, there is my dad, there is my mum, there is my brother, there is her, there is her boyfriend, but where am I??
Ouch, I am so hurt! "I don't care" is a total lie now!
Also, she posted a post regarding her birthday...
Her boyfriend gave her a bouquet of flowers, a teddy dog named Potato, a box of chocolate and 99 stars...
I... I... I... am so bloody jealous!!
I received my first bouquet of roses when I was like... 21, and she got it when she's like... 17???
... and my dad actually... actually gave her 10 bucks to buy the stuffs she wanted.
When I was 17, I had my first boyfriend and I lost my first kiss, she had like 3 boyfriends now including the internet guy whom she never met (but she counted anyway).
I don't know why but we are never closed since we were child, she was always bullying me, as I can remember.
She was more girly and the sweet-princess type, I was more troubled, so it's logical my parents preferred her better than me.
She is like the black sheep of the family, none of my family members is into the stuffs she likes.
All us are pretty smart and strong, but she is quite dumb and weak..
I am also like the black sheep of my family, none of my family members is troubled, naughty and wild like me.
I guess our relationship never was good until I got married and transfer to Kuala Lumpur, now that we still don't talk a lot, but at least there is no more quarrel and now I actually "feel" like I "love" her.
Sorry, call me horrible but.. we're just not so clicked with each others.
I remember, last time when I saw her, we talked about her first kiss.
Then I tried to tell her to remember to use a condom if she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend, she gotten all blushy and told me she would not do it before she gets married.
Duh, I never realised my sister is Jessica Simpson, or Britney Spears.
You can actually know that she is no that bright as she asked me if I was a virgin.
Duh!!!!!
I think when I next see her, I should give her some money to buy the stuffs she likes, I really love her.
Happy belated birthday to you Judy, though you forgot to mention that I actually gave you a happy-birthday call when I was on my way to Singapore!
Make sense, yeah, I never liked her that much anyway.
I am pure evil, I know, but we were never in a good relationship.
So today, I went to friendster to wish my friend Starfruit happy 25th birthday, I saw this girl with a "I-am-just-as-cute-as-any-Taiwanese-girls-kawaii-ooo" pose, she bloody is my sister!
My sister, Judy aka "Sakura" (yuch), she is 17 at the moment. Both me and my sister are very bloody different you would think we have different mothers!
Nope I don't have a Japanese problem but I really REALLY dislike Chinese girls giving themselves a Japanese name!
Though my sister is 7 years younger than me, people actually think she is older.. Ok, not exactly, her skin is better than me, she is fairer, taller, dumber... I look more mature than my actual age people actually thought I am in my 30s, so she's gonna have to look like 35 to beat me, which she doesn't.
We are so bloody different, I was never into any of those "cartoon-like" character, Asian-girls-acting-cute culture, etc etc.
I was really into English, she is really into Japanese.
I was not a believer of love; she is a true believer, she never stopped dreaming and picturing, she even wrote a few romantic "novels" and passed them on to her friends to read, they all loved it.
I never liked Hairy-gay-Potter, in fact, I am so bloody against it, but she read every of the Potter novel.
I was active on the internet flirting with guys in my teenage, she was too, so one common there, but I was never serious with them but she fell in love with somebody, they never met, yet he called her every day and told her he loved her, she told him she loved him too, duh.
I was more boyish, she is more girly.
I never liked those shining twinkling girly thingy but she totally does...
I never liked reading Japanese manga comics but she does, totally...
She likes shopping but I thought shopping was a complete waste of time at her age.
So she linked her friendster profile to her blogspot blog, which I won't link you to read to waste your time. What can teenage girls write anyway??
Her blogs are either in Japanese or Chinese, most people reading my blog don't understand these 2 languages.
Wait.. not that many people reading my blog anyway! I would say.. No more than 5??
Ok, wait a minute, I feel like I am going to puke reading my sister's blog...
Her blogs are very short, cute, teenage-like, totally not my type.
Also, something proves that my sister and I aren't that closed, she never mentioned me in her blog.
As I can see, there is my dad, there is my mum, there is my brother, there is her, there is her boyfriend, but where am I??
Ouch, I am so hurt! "I don't care" is a total lie now!
Also, she posted a post regarding her birthday...
Her boyfriend gave her a bouquet of flowers, a teddy dog named Potato, a box of chocolate and 99 stars...
I... I... I... am so bloody jealous!!
I received my first bouquet of roses when I was like... 21, and she got it when she's like... 17???
... and my dad actually... actually gave her 10 bucks to buy the stuffs she wanted.
When I was 17, I had my first boyfriend and I lost my first kiss, she had like 3 boyfriends now including the internet guy whom she never met (but she counted anyway).
I don't know why but we are never closed since we were child, she was always bullying me, as I can remember.
She was more girly and the sweet-princess type, I was more troubled, so it's logical my parents preferred her better than me.
She is like the black sheep of the family, none of my family members is into the stuffs she likes.
All us are pretty smart and strong, but she is quite dumb and weak..
I am also like the black sheep of my family, none of my family members is troubled, naughty and wild like me.
I guess our relationship never was good until I got married and transfer to Kuala Lumpur, now that we still don't talk a lot, but at least there is no more quarrel and now I actually "feel" like I "love" her.
Sorry, call me horrible but.. we're just not so clicked with each others.
I remember, last time when I saw her, we talked about her first kiss.
Then I tried to tell her to remember to use a condom if she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend, she gotten all blushy and told me she would not do it before she gets married.
Duh, I never realised my sister is Jessica Simpson, or Britney Spears.
You can actually know that she is no that bright as she asked me if I was a virgin.
Duh!!!!!
I think when I next see her, I should give her some money to buy the stuffs she likes, I really love her.
Happy belated birthday to you Judy, though you forgot to mention that I actually gave you a happy-birthday call when I was on my way to Singapore!
The Childhood
Most people cannot link someone as happy and as naughty as me with an awful childhood.
I had been living in fear since I was 8, until I was 18.
I cannot believe I have lived through these 10 horrible years, I don't know what drove me through, perhaps, my grandma? I don't know.
I was so badly hit by my dad when I was a child, every day, every night, I lived in fear. I could not sleep well, my dad would pull me up at night and hit me.
No, my dad did not have any issue, he was not an alcoholic, nor anything, nothing else except his violence.
I was very naughty and troubled when I was young, he was only punishing me.
That's what I had been telling myself for the past 16 years.
Even though when I was 14, he started telling me he hit me because he needed to take out his anger.
I never believed the relationship between my dad and I could get better, but apparently I was wrong.
My dad and I are in such great relationship right now, sometimes I would even prefer to tell him my life problems than to my mum.
But things happened, like that little thing yesterday.
My childhood is not supposed to affect me anymore, I tried my very best to suppress it.
Hard, but not impossible.
He did not hit me, he did not say anything, he only made 2 loud "hmphs" over the phone.
That affected me better than anything, anyone else.
I am still shaking and shivering thinking about the sound he made, those noises really triggered my memories as a child.
Like I was sitting somewhere, could not move, waiting for him to judge me and hit me, or even punched.
When I was little and my dad hit me, my grandma would protect me with all her might.
Luckily I had her, if not, I would've died when I was a child.
I am dead serious, you don't know how badly I was hit and how injured I was.
I was slapped, caned, hit, whipped, punched and kicked, my body was always covered in bruises, it would be my very lucky day if he stopped before he saw my blood.
He always told me he'd disown me soon as I turned 18. I did not fucking care.
He was my dad, but I never had a dad anyway.
Every day I cried...
True, I was really naughty, lazy, full of lies. I stole stuffs from my parents, grandma or sometimes relatives. I used to think I deserved all those "punishments" but now I know it's too much.
How can you blame a child over these?
I face many children with problems every day, some are lazy, some are full of lies, some steal stuffs, so?
I was kinesthetic, I was curious, I was naughty.
My dad would humiliate me in front of people by telling them those things I did and mocked me in front of them.
Like to my uncle, I could never understand why my dad was in good relationship with him, he was fucking fucking his secretary behind my aunty's back, they even have a son.
My dad's best friend once told him I would become a prostitute when I grow up, my dad happily delivered the message to me.
Yup, they saw me as a materialistic type of person, but I was high-maintenance and that's all.
My dad said I would do anything for money.
Not true, totally, people who know me know that I have too much pride in myself.
Prostitute, whore, whatever, I never cared.
They can say whatever the fuck they want, I live in my own world.
As it turns out, they were so bloody wrong, I did not grant their wish by becoming a prostitute.
Also, they were wrong about me doing anything for money, I turned down many offers, I just want to live free and happily.
I still have nightmares or horrible dreams (if I am lucky) every night, some don't affect me, some make me unpleasant, some give me shiver, some wakes me up crying.
Those little things in my childhood never affect me, or I never realised they did, until I was 18, that was the last time my dad hit me.
"Punched", actually, to be precised. My sister accused me of something I did not do, my dad never let me explained. When I came home from my college, he just walked towards me with an angry/dark-devil look and gave me several punches instead.
I always begged him to stop, shame on me, how I wished I could be one of those strong people who are quiet and swallow those shit when they're being hit.
I would never forget that moment nor that look on his face.
You could say it's the past, I could never go back therefore I must stop looking back, but things are easy to be said than done, you can never understand these traumas inside.
Dad also told me once, that I needed to get myself checked out, he hit my so hard he's worried I might not be able to conceive.
I don't know if I would be able to forgive him if it turned out to be negative, I never get checked out.
I can suppress it but I cannot lie to myself, the traumas are always there.
But still, I love my dad and I hereby thanking him, without him, I am not the woman I am today.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I am strong!
I had been living in fear since I was 8, until I was 18.
I cannot believe I have lived through these 10 horrible years, I don't know what drove me through, perhaps, my grandma? I don't know.
I was so badly hit by my dad when I was a child, every day, every night, I lived in fear. I could not sleep well, my dad would pull me up at night and hit me.
No, my dad did not have any issue, he was not an alcoholic, nor anything, nothing else except his violence.
I was very naughty and troubled when I was young, he was only punishing me.
That's what I had been telling myself for the past 16 years.
Even though when I was 14, he started telling me he hit me because he needed to take out his anger.
I never believed the relationship between my dad and I could get better, but apparently I was wrong.
My dad and I are in such great relationship right now, sometimes I would even prefer to tell him my life problems than to my mum.
But things happened, like that little thing yesterday.
My childhood is not supposed to affect me anymore, I tried my very best to suppress it.
Hard, but not impossible.
He did not hit me, he did not say anything, he only made 2 loud "hmphs" over the phone.
That affected me better than anything, anyone else.
I am still shaking and shivering thinking about the sound he made, those noises really triggered my memories as a child.
Like I was sitting somewhere, could not move, waiting for him to judge me and hit me, or even punched.
When I was little and my dad hit me, my grandma would protect me with all her might.
Luckily I had her, if not, I would've died when I was a child.
I am dead serious, you don't know how badly I was hit and how injured I was.
I was slapped, caned, hit, whipped, punched and kicked, my body was always covered in bruises, it would be my very lucky day if he stopped before he saw my blood.
He always told me he'd disown me soon as I turned 18. I did not fucking care.
He was my dad, but I never had a dad anyway.
Every day I cried...
True, I was really naughty, lazy, full of lies. I stole stuffs from my parents, grandma or sometimes relatives. I used to think I deserved all those "punishments" but now I know it's too much.
How can you blame a child over these?
I face many children with problems every day, some are lazy, some are full of lies, some steal stuffs, so?
I was kinesthetic, I was curious, I was naughty.
My dad would humiliate me in front of people by telling them those things I did and mocked me in front of them.
Like to my uncle, I could never understand why my dad was in good relationship with him, he was fucking fucking his secretary behind my aunty's back, they even have a son.
My dad's best friend once told him I would become a prostitute when I grow up, my dad happily delivered the message to me.
Yup, they saw me as a materialistic type of person, but I was high-maintenance and that's all.
My dad said I would do anything for money.
Not true, totally, people who know me know that I have too much pride in myself.
Prostitute, whore, whatever, I never cared.
They can say whatever the fuck they want, I live in my own world.
As it turns out, they were so bloody wrong, I did not grant their wish by becoming a prostitute.
Also, they were wrong about me doing anything for money, I turned down many offers, I just want to live free and happily.
I still have nightmares or horrible dreams (if I am lucky) every night, some don't affect me, some make me unpleasant, some give me shiver, some wakes me up crying.
Those little things in my childhood never affect me, or I never realised they did, until I was 18, that was the last time my dad hit me.
"Punched", actually, to be precised. My sister accused me of something I did not do, my dad never let me explained. When I came home from my college, he just walked towards me with an angry/dark-devil look and gave me several punches instead.
I always begged him to stop, shame on me, how I wished I could be one of those strong people who are quiet and swallow those shit when they're being hit.
I would never forget that moment nor that look on his face.
You could say it's the past, I could never go back therefore I must stop looking back, but things are easy to be said than done, you can never understand these traumas inside.
Dad also told me once, that I needed to get myself checked out, he hit my so hard he's worried I might not be able to conceive.
I don't know if I would be able to forgive him if it turned out to be negative, I never get checked out.
I can suppress it but I cannot lie to myself, the traumas are always there.
But still, I love my dad and I hereby thanking him, without him, I am not the woman I am today.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I am strong!
Monday, 11 August 2008
The Online Streaming Tv
Yes, Olympics has started, I hate the world more and more each day.
I was never a fan for tennis but all thanks to Alberto, I am all crazy for tennis.
I have been trying to get an online stream channel that broadcasts a bloody tennis game all evening, but does it work? No!
Why the fucking fuck is every channel showing the sports that I don't want to watch!!
Thank you China, you blocked people outside of China to watch your official broadcast live stations.
Thank you NBC, you asked me to enter a zip code and select a network. I entered a zip code in Ohio you told me NBC is restricted to broadcast the Olympics videos for people "inside" of the US.
Ok fine, so I entered my own zip code in Malaysia, guess what, you said, the selected network is not available in my area!
Thank you TVU Player, you removed all the China sports related channels off, there are only some crap channels there showing non-Olympics stuffs.
Thank you justin.tv, you removed almost all the Olympics-related channels off your site and I only managed to find crap channels that broadcast something the buffers every 2 seconds.
Thank you you bloody idiot on justin tv, you're supposed to broadcast sports event in the sports section, not bloody Simpsons in Spanish!!
Thank you you bloody pervert on justin tv, you're supposed to broadcast sports events (too) in the sports section, not broadcasting your bloody ugly right foot for people with foot fetish to admire!
Thank you all the channels on justin tv again, all the channels in the sports sections are either broadcasting football, or wrestling!!
Thank you free proxy list servers, I have been trying to get a China-based proxy that is said to be last used today, but guess what, none of them actually works!
Thank you my dad, you bought a 50" plasma tv so you could sit home and enjoy the stations over the satellite while your daughter is so crazy and frustrated over here.
Thank you people from all around the world, you guys like team sports so much that probably explains why all the channels broadcast the same basketball, hockey, football or whatever sports that I don't like.
Why are there so many channels broadcasting weightlifting too??
I am so tired and frustrated...
I was never a fan for tennis but all thanks to Alberto, I am all crazy for tennis.
I have been trying to get an online stream channel that broadcasts a bloody tennis game all evening, but does it work? No!
Why the fucking fuck is every channel showing the sports that I don't want to watch!!
Thank you China, you blocked people outside of China to watch your official broadcast live stations.
Thank you NBC, you asked me to enter a zip code and select a network. I entered a zip code in Ohio you told me NBC is restricted to broadcast the Olympics videos for people "inside" of the US.
Ok fine, so I entered my own zip code in Malaysia, guess what, you said, the selected network is not available in my area!
Thank you TVU Player, you removed all the China sports related channels off, there are only some crap channels there showing non-Olympics stuffs.
Thank you justin.tv, you removed almost all the Olympics-related channels off your site and I only managed to find crap channels that broadcast something the buffers every 2 seconds.
Thank you you bloody idiot on justin tv, you're supposed to broadcast sports event in the sports section, not bloody Simpsons in Spanish!!
Thank you you bloody pervert on justin tv, you're supposed to broadcast sports events (too) in the sports section, not broadcasting your bloody ugly right foot for people with foot fetish to admire!
Thank you all the channels on justin tv again, all the channels in the sports sections are either broadcasting football, or wrestling!!
Thank you free proxy list servers, I have been trying to get a China-based proxy that is said to be last used today, but guess what, none of them actually works!
Thank you my dad, you bought a 50" plasma tv so you could sit home and enjoy the stations over the satellite while your daughter is so crazy and frustrated over here.
Thank you people from all around the world, you guys like team sports so much that probably explains why all the channels broadcast the same basketball, hockey, football or whatever sports that I don't like.
Why are there so many channels broadcasting weightlifting too??
I am so tired and frustrated...
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