The Dates on the Web

I am thinking, since Internet love is getting serious, I should start an online chapel.

It's like an advanced step, specially created and designed for people who want to take their Internet relationship to the next step.

You just log in, choose among the different pastors, type in your names and click "I do", then you're virtually married.

You can marry as many people as you want without having to be a Muslim, marry any gender you want without having to be a bisexual, marrying an underage teenager without being accused to be a paedophile.

... or even appear to be Bill Clinton, nobody knows, nobody cares.

You can even be married in real life and on the Internet as well, your real wife and virtual wives don't have to know about one another.

Guess what, the best thing is, you don't even have to be in love!

Nobody will tell your story on dontdatehimgirl.com, no one will add you to their Enemybook application on Facebook, you won't get arrested as well for polygamy, but a friendly advice, try to prevent your companions from finding out about one another.

... and no matter how long have you been virtually married, if you have never had any physical contact with anyone, you remain a virgin and your sex organ won't hurt from the excessive virtual sex with different people.

You don't have to worry if you find difficulties meeting people online, we provide match-making service. Don't have to worry as well if you are an Internet relationship newbie, we do provide slick lines to help you to support your love point. Here's a preview:
1. You are so beautiful.
2. I love you, I really do.
3. I can't live, if living is without you.
4. I wanna touch you and kiss you so much.
5. If I could be with you I'd make love to you every night.
6. I cannot do anything at work today, I cannot stop thinking about you, my life is a mess.
7. I cannot wait to see you for real, hold you in my arms and tell you, "hey, this is me, from the monitor, for real..."

And to support your slick lines, we also do provide a lot of stupid emoticons for you to get physical with your online love interest, oh remember the time when you kissed, hugged and even had sex for the very first time, virtually?

Oh, sex on the Internet, which is actually rather vegetarian but we made it carnivore. You don't have sex with your organs but words. You could have sex with guy A now, guy B later or even a gang bang and yet, you maintain your virginity, how amazing is that?

Spice up your virtual sex life too by purchasing virtual revealing lingeries. We do respect the religious people as well by selling non-revealing-casual-long-sleeves-long-pants-like lingeries, for our service, no one gets offended or hurt.

Also, to protect yourself, you can download this plug-in for WLM, which in order to help preventing your online husbands/wives screen-capturing your naked body or self-help acts for future abuse.

The divorce is easy, just click "yes" when a dialogue that says "Are you sure?" appears. You will then see a dialogue which says "Congratulations, you are now succesfully divorced with __________. Click 'cancel' if you do not wish to meet more possible future wives at the moment."

No lawyers, no courts, no prenups, even better, no trojans.

For our service you can marry anyone you want, for our service you can strip yourself bare in front of any webcams, for our service you can divorce and remarry anytime, for our service we guarantee your satisfaction.

Lifetime membership, register now for a 30% discount, 3-day free trial, a limited period only.

... and if, my business grows, perhaps I can start thinking of a virtual honeymoon spots or pet/child adoption service for the Internet couples.

Are you not even tempted?

(Tip: For those who aged between 14 to 18, to get married, you need to enter the verification code. To skip this, simply go to options>personal settings and change your year of birth!)