The Bot Which Knows It Best

Dear Martes, I hereby aggrive myself to ask your hand in marriage, as my destiny is told by something magical called the "MarriageBot".

For thee I believe I have found my true happiness, as it is, too, told by the mighty MarriageBot.

Don't need to be jealous with me, you too can find happiness just like I do. Try log on to www dot facebook dot com, I repeat www dot facebook that's f-a-c-e-b-o-o-k dot com and search for the MarriageBot which stands for marriage + robot.

With just one click (up to two), your destiny is right in your hand.

It predicts your first or up-coming husband along with 4 other possible candidates which one of them, you would actually marry but end up in divorce.

Anyway, the mighty MarriageBot calculating or even matchmaking service is completely free! No shit of peeling an apple in front of a mirror at 12am with your laptop aside, no shit of saying a stupid chant that goes "gods of powers, gods of might, show me true love, now in sight etc etc", no even shit of focusing on "finding love" while answering its one-and-only question!

How amazing.

This is no hoax, MarriageBot calculates your destiny + future with its highly advanced robot calculating techniques.

One of my friends tried this application days ago and predicted her very dashing future possible husbands. The top guy is a married man.

How very interesting, I thought, I too want to know whom my upcoming husband is!

After all, it's a girl's fantasy to dress up in white and say yes to her prince charming on the altar, the very same altar where Britney said yes to whatshisnameagain.

Ok, so after a few clicks, marriagebot asked me de most important question ever, that is if I want to marry:
1. a man
2. a woman
3. I am not picky!

Apparently marriagebot is a supporter of homosexual and bisexual.

The last facebook quiz told me if I marry the same sex I would probably end up in a divorce, so I selected the first option.

It only takes 3 seconds for marriagebot to calculate your future (results might vary depends on your network provider). 3 seconds later, I realise, my upcoming husband is not the guy I've been dating for almost 2 years.

I thought, since facebook says I am "in a relationship with Mr Alberto", it's rather logical for him to be on the top of the list...

But no, my first option happens to be the same first option of my friend: The married guy.

This quiz was like, very specially written and designed for him.

Urr, doesn't it like, check first whom you're dating, then put him on the top of your list to make you spread the words of its amazing calculation??

It's strange, 80% of the guys on my list are married. Perhaps I subconsciously enjoy breaking people's family.

I don't love Martes and I seriously doubt it if he does, but if MarriageBot says so, I believe there is a reason within.

Anyway, thanks to facebook, I now know whom my future husband is. I hereby writing a testimonial for facebook, hoping more people would find true happiness with the apparently-very-stupid facebook applications.

Your destiny awaits you, your happiness is guaranteed.

Martes, hold my hand.

Oh by the way, Mr Sábado, if you see this, do give me a call as you're on the 2nd of the list.