The National Product

Perhaps merdeka is approaching, everyone's crazy for Malaysia.

Flags, here and there, they're almost like your ex-boyfriends, everywhere where you don't want them to be.

The students have been really obsessed lately with all the "patriotism" projects we give. They kept asking their moral teacher which happens to be me in a very unfortunate way, if I loved Malaysia.

Psfffff, everyone knows exactly what my answer is!!

I am basically married to Malaysia!!

... because I dislike it more and more each day!

Yeah, if I told this to an American he will probably tell me I should be proud to be an Ame.. I mean, Malaysian.

Of course, as a Moral teacher I have to pretend to pretend to be very decent... and I am oooh so passionate to Malaysia.

To prove how passionate and in love I am, I told them I recently bought a product that is proudly released by Malaysia.

It has the same function just like apple's iPod, only it's so much easier as it uses the window explorer and it enables you to drag-and-drop.

You don't have to launch the annoying iTunes and get bloody frustrated because it tends to sync things you don't want it to sync and erase things you don't want it to erase.

The name of this fantastic Pody thingy is called..

"Kari-Pod".

Not nene-pod, but Kari-Pod.

It's not under apple, that's not a national brand, it's released under a new company called "Tembikai".

I told them, the function is very savvy-tech and easy, it's USB 2.0 friendly and it has the designed of a traditional Malaysian weapon called "keris".

Also, it is optimized for quick removal so you can actually disconnect the device without using the "Safe Removal" thingy.

Well actually a lot of thumb-drives are optimized for that but they don't know that.

I just realised I am VERY good doing business! It's a total waste of my brain and cunningness that I became a teacher, damn!

I even painted the product on the board to show how dedicated I am!

So they looked at my masterpiece for a few seconds, then they asked...

"So how to turn this thing on?"

First of all I warned them, you don't call this thing "this thing", we all should be damn proud and be respectful towards a national product!

... and the on/off function is simple, you actually use the end of the sword to stab yourself once to turn on, twice to off.

No no, don't worry, it's completely safe and electronically tested, just like all condoms!

It has a very little spring inside so when you stab yourself with it, it pushes the switch inside for it to come on.

Very thoughtful, I absolutely love it! I really hate to press the "on" button for 2/3 seconds and wait for the "on" light to come on.

That's what I like about this product, very thoughtful, deep-thinking, and insight!

The next question, "how much do I have to pay for this wonderfully great product?"

Malaysia is currently doing a promotion until merdeka, so if you order right now, you get 20% discount along with a Malaysian flag sticker which you can proudly stick it anywhere you want, but it's recommended for you to stick at the back of your "kari-pod".

You can get it at any Tesco outlet, usual price is RM64.46, price after discount is RM51.57.

51 means Malaysia is 51 this year and 57 is the year we claimed our independence.

See, they even put a lot of thoughts into the price! How amazed can I be right now!!

No no, you don't have to send it for servicing every 2 days like the Proton cars, it's very reliable and the last I heard, it's nominated for some awards.

After bragging for a few minutes, they popped so many questions, but of course, they are smart enough not to believe me.

I had so much fun bullshitting them, they had so much fun being bullshitted.

... and we know that "pretending to pretend" is not pretending, so I really DO feel the passion!

Happy merdeka, yeah, whatever!