The Wannabe-Vampiress Day

Let's lose some blood the constructive way, shall we?

This morning, yes, on a lovely Sunday morning, my school organised a blood-donation campaign, sounds interesting doesn't it? I have anemia (thank god) so I don't have to have a big-ass needle stuck on one of my arms.

So you have to fill out a form and answer numerous questions about your health, it never occurred to me because it doesn't concern me.

I think it's logical for you to fill out this form yourself if you wish to donate blood because well, no one knows your personal details better than you. Also, would you rather I know you're infected with STD or you secretly fill that out in your form eh?

Some proud-ass parents thought they came to give you their blood therefore they didn't have to waste their energy filling out the form. They thought we were there to bloody serve them because, hey, they are giving us their blood.

I so don't get it, if you can read, if you can write, why do you need to ask someone to fill out the important details about yourself and do a questionnaire for you? That's a waste of time, energy and manpower isn't it? Well, some people just don't get it.

This is like, oh hey, I am suddenly so in the mood to donate some money to a charity organisation, therefore, I phone them up and ask them to pick me up at my house, drive me to their centre, open the door for me, walk me into their hall with a lot of people clapping their hands, sit me down at their charity table and when I am enjoying my very own donating moment, I take out my 450ml worth of money and hand it to them.

Or this is like me deciding to give someone my kidney, so I ask his family to take me to the hospital and fill out the form for me all because I am giving them my kidney.

Hey, it isn't too much to ask those people to serve me is it? After all I am giving them my money and my kidney.

So this macho guy, quite old and not really hot so not exactly those I would happily serve, threw his identity card at me and said "I don't know how to fill out the form, you fill for me, ok?"

I couldn't say no, because hey, he was giving us his blood.

I mean, if you were a vampire, you don't want to piss your prey off before you suck him/her dry.

The form comes in 2 different languages, English and Mandarin so how could people not know how exactly to fill out the forms??

I took a pen and started writing down his name and identity card number and his date of birth and his gender and his race and then hey, his marital status.

Whether this guy is single or married or divorced or whatever is not stated on his ID so I had to ask him.

Giselle: Urm, sir, you are married, right?
Sir Fat Guy: Yes.

Of course, duh, I know, you looked pretty old so I should've gathered.

Then I had to ask him his occupation, once again I secretly rolled my eyes and prayed that he won't tell me he works as a pimp daddy. "Oh hey girl, I am a pimp daddy, you wanna come work for me? Then I'll be your pimp daddy." I sure had no idea how to respond to that.

So I also had to ask for his mobile number, everything will be so bloody damn easy and daylight-saving if he would be kind enough to fill out the form himself. Then I also had to ask if he was a first time donor or a repeated donor, he claimed to be the latter, so sure he knew how to fill out the form.

Here comes the interesting questionnaire, I had to read a total of 19 questions (let's not count the little sub-questions which come in between).
(I really read them one by one, idiotly.)

Q1
Q: You ever read the brochures regarding blood donation?
A: What is that??
Q: Oh, it's those little booklets printed to inform you about blood-donating.
A: Yes yes, I've read.

Q2
Q: Do you feel well and healthy today? (of course, or he wouldn't have come, duh)
A: Yes.

Q3
Q: Did you have any problems during previous donations?
A: No.

Q4
Q: Have you been overseas in the past one year?
A: Oh, have I been overseas... hmm hmm... (turned to his friend) Have we been overseas last year? (Friend: Of course lah!) (turned to me) Yes.

Q4.2
Q: If yes, where?
A: (turned to his friend again) Where ah? (Friend: Vietnam) (turned to me) Vietnam.

Gosh, this guy doesn't remember where he travelled? I hope this short-term memory loss thingy doesn't affect the recipient.

Q5
Q: Have you visited or stayed in UK/Europe from 1980-1996 for more than 6 months?
A: No.

Q6.1
Q: In the past 3 years, have you had malaria infection?
A: Huh? What malaria?
Q: (turned to my colleague) How to explain this? (colleague rescued me while I secretly thought, if you don't know what disease probably means you are clean and rolled my eyes, secretly for the 10,000 times)
A: No.

Q6.2
Q: In the past 3 years, have you used any anti-malaria drugs?
A: No.

Q6.3
Q: In the past 3 years, have you been to a malaria endemic area?
A: No.

Q7
Q: In the last 6 months have you been involved in any accident or undergone surgery?
A: No.

(fucking shit is this ever going to end?)

Q8.1
Q: In the last 12 months have you undergone tattooing, body piercing or acupuncture?
A: No.

Q8.2
Q: In the last 12 months have you received any blood transfusion?
A: No.

Q9
Q: Have you had any vaccination within the last 3 weeks?
A: No.

Q10
Q: Have you had any dental treatment in the past 24 hours?
A: No.

(dear god, seriously, I am truly sorry for not believing in you but do save me anyway, please...)

Q11
Q: Have you been sick in the past one week?
A: No.

Q12
Q: Have you taken any medication in the past 1 week?
A: No.

Q13
Q: Have you had any of the following diseases? (then I had to read all those 10 diseases one by one while he repeatedly said no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. One of the diseases listed is STD so of course, I seriously doubt if his answer will be a yes.)

(This will be so much easier and faster if you would just put down your goddamn pride and fill out the whole form yourself, dear uncle.)

Q14
Q: Have any of your family members ever had Hepatitis B or Hepatitis C infection?
A: No.

Q15 is for a female donor so I skipped it, almost there Giselle, hang on..

Q16 I asked him to read himself because it concerned th(ose) he had sex with. None of my business, I don't need to know if he had multiple partners or enjoyed sex with another man or a prostitute or whatever.

Q17
Q: Are you donating blood to test for HIV or Hepatitis Infection?
A: No.

Q18
Q: Have you injected yourself with drugs not prescribed by the doctor?
A: No.

Q19
Q: Have you completed your Hepatitis B Immunization?
A: Yes.

Q19.1
Q: If yes, when?
A: Don't remember.

Then I asked him to sign, finally! WEE!

I did all these things stated above while he was enjoying the scenery, what a wonderful world..

I was a little tempted to check the box which says "HIV partner", "STD" and "another man"... but it's easy to resist the little demon inside me because I am not a man.

I am too kind, you know, plus, he was giving us his blood.

I would be dead if there were more people like him, luckily he was the only client for me, though I heard my colleagues asking a few people the same questions... Lucky me, I cannot imagine reading those 19+ questions again for the 2nd or the 3rd time!!

Seriously, people do think by donating blood they have every right in the world to be lazy and be on top of you?