The "Gram-Gram-it's-GRAM!" Affair

How exactly do you pronounce this name, "Graham"?

Simple, one syllable, picture that you are calling your grandma minus the "s": "Gram", it can be pronounced with a very very soft H if preferred.

But Alberto was telling me about this student from his academy named Graham yesterday.

Below, as far as I remember, was the conversation:
He: ... everyone calls him "Gra-ham".
Me: It's "Gram"!
He: But everyone calls him "Gra-ham"!
Me: Well, "everyone" is wrong, in fact, if it's "Gra-ham" why don't you just call him "A-hem" instead?!
He: But everyone calls him "Gra-ham"!

He looked so innocent, poor little him, I don't blame him, I only blame those people in Singapore, as I heard their English is a lot better than our English in Malaysia, but as I see, so so only lah, as they cannot even pronounce this little name, even this is the name of the very noble man, "Alexander 'Graham' Bell".

I used to pronounce this name as "Gra-ham-a-hem" as well until I met Graham Bell, Graham William Bell, a British guy whose birthday falls on the 2nd Feb 1972 (wow, can't believe I still remember his birthday).

Graham is a close friend of my ex. I met him on Christmas 2004. His look is the crossover of Hugh Jackman and The Rock, I know, very strange look but no joke, he looked 50% like Jackman and 60% like Rocky. The other 50% and 40%, I just don't know..

Graham is not at all hot but definitely a good catch, ooh, and that body too, but the reason he's never been with more than one woman is because of his too-good nature, too good that nobody would be interested to be in a relationship with him. He doesn't smoke, doesn't drink (AT ALL), doesn't talk dirty, doesn't this doesn't that, but too many doesn'ts made him too good, too good that it is sooooo close to the "boring" stage, but he is a wonderful guy.

Thanks to Graham, I know how to pronounce this name properly!

Then today, Alberto was telling me he received a phone call from the Ahem boy's mother.

He: Hello, ..... Chess Academy.
She: Hello, I am ....., "Gra-ham's" mother....

I immediately hi-jack the topic, "Gram, Gram, Gram, it's GRAM!"

He said with an innocent look, but the mother called him "Gra-ham".

Well, shame on the mother, she can't even pronounce her son's name properly. I mean, I will never give my son a name I can't pronounce.

Like, if I was going to name my son "Yves", I am not gonna bloody call him "Ee-vés".

Or if I was going to name my daughter "Juanita", I am not gonna bloody call her "Dju-a-ni-ta".

That is just so aunty-like and wannabe-high class to call your children by the very wrong name.

I absolutely hate it, when somebody cannot pronounce their name properly.

It's like somebody calling me "Gee-sell-leh". It sounds like saying "Giselle leh?" (Where is Giselle, in broken local English).

I kept arguing with him about the right way to pronounce that name, he kept making fun of me, lovely couple, whatever, but the bottom line, he wasn't so convinced.

Fine, I was giving him a chance to believe me therefore I did not log online to show him the proper pronunciation, but looks like I "might" have to do it.

So finally, I found a site that totally gives justice to people like me, click here and listen if you're interested.

"Abraham" is "A-bre-hem", but "Graham" is "Gram"!

The world just needs a better English teacher.

... perhaps a teacher like me!